I started writing a diary about my father last night. I want to write about his life, and eventually, at the end, his death. He was a very complex man, though, and I can't cram everything into one diary. I've been thinking about what I want to include, and I thought I'd put some of the most important (to me) things that he ever taught me into a separate diary.
"Never eat anything bigger than your head"
After my youngest brother, then aged 3, had eaten an entire package of Oreos
"Illegitimi non carborundum" (Translation: Don't let the bastards grind you down) Said when I was 5, and a 7-year-old boy bully bothered me in the park. He went with me to the park the next day, and watched from a distance while I berated the bully, who cried. I haven't been successfully bullied since.
"You'll always be my little girl, even when you're 44." Said when I was 14, and trying to grow up too fast. I didn't fully understand that until I had children of my own.
"Never say anything today that will change all your tomorrows." Said when I was 17, and truly one of the most important lessons ever. I have a terrible temper and a sharp, cutting tongue. As did my father. Remembering that has tempered my words since then. I think carefully when I am angry now. I don't ever say anything that I wish I could "take back."
"Always understand both sides of an argument. You can never argue effectively if you only have one point of view."
"Speak quietly when you're angry. Shouting is ineffective. You want people to listen. They won't if you shout." Daddy certainly shouted a lot. But when were in "Deep shit trouble," that particular bit of news was always delivered in a quiet tone. That's how we knew we were in deep shit trouble, as opposed to just trouble.
"THINK!!" Shouted when we did something stupid.
"The world ISN'T fair. But you MUST be."
"Never lie. It creates a mess. Tell the truth, even if you have to tell someone her ass looks fat in those pants." Daddy certainly never held back :) But when he said he liked something, he meant it. And you knew it. Because he didn't lie. When, for whatever reason, he didn't want to answer, he'd raise one eyebrow and shake his head. You knew not to press.
"There are two kinds of criticism. Constructive criticism teaches. Criticism wounds. Decide whether the criticism has merit, then deal with it."
"Don't be fake. If you don't like someone, just be polite."
"Dance with every boy who asks you. It takes a lot of courage to ask a girl to dance. I don't care if they're short, pimply, ugly or what. You dance one dance, you thank them, you excuse yourself."
"Be real. Get to know people. Never think that you are better than anyone else. Everybody has a story. Listen to it." When Daddy died, the doormen cried. All three of the ones on duty. One said to me, "Your father was a great man. He'd come outside and talk to us, all the time. He was real interested in what we had to say. I was in the Army, and we talked about that."
"Growing up is boring. I'm not going to grow up." Said when he was in his 50's. I looked at him in surprise, and he said, "Have fun. Never stop learning. Play with toys." He had a tank collection, and he and his best friend would line up the tanks in the living room, and have battles. He started taking flying lessons at 65, and bought two little planes. Those were his last toys.
"Move your ass!" Don't sit around on it:)