Running a little late so let's deal with the stuff up here in a starkly utilitarian manner.
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
...
the orange antimacassar:
Sherlock Holmes in Space -- The Knower -- Chapter 37
a story by jabney based on (the now public domain) characters created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
...
"So tell me Watson," said Sherlock Holmes, "Does what we have just witnessed match any preconceptions you may have had concerning an afterlife?"
Being careful to preface my answer with an anti-jinx ritual gesture, I said, "I'm not that certain that I trust my eyes down here Holmes." Then, without warning, my perspective changed. I had been looking over at the faces of Otis, Evan, and that of my good friend, Sherlock Holmes, Eye-to-eye. All three gasped, and I found myself looking up at the sound. But why? I was still standing. I reached to my face to rub the sleep from my eyes. Yes, that must be it, something in my eyes. But my face was absolutely smooth between my nose and hairline! "Holmes, is there a mirror about?"
"No time Watson. Your eyes have migrated to your waist, at least that is what I'm seeing. I presume that Otis and Evan are witnessing approximately the same re-arrangement of your physiognomy. Let us make all haste to reach the stairs. Getting out of this place should get you back to normal, I should think."
"But twilight is rapidly approaching," said Otis, "And the stairs are still not in view."
"Perhaps we can help," said a new voice. "Or perhaps not," said another new voice. Different from the first voice, if only by gender, but with an otherwise similar timbre. A group of Captains had appeared out of nowhere. Rather, a group of Captains had shown up before our eyes, my 'rearranged' ones included, on the streets of Hell.
"Captains Haggard and Maggie, I presume," said Sherlock Holmes.
"All present and accounted for," said the oldest looking of the Captain Maggies.
"Except for the current Captain, of course, this time it's Captain Haggard I believe." This was one of the other Captain Haggards and he was interrupted by guffaws from several of the Captain Maggies.
"As if you weren't aware of the exact particulars of every body that we've shared, you old perv," said the Captain Maggie nearest me. "I'm just glad I had my turn as Captain in a real body before every romantic liaison on shipboard became subject to a group critique. I had enough of a problem with self-criticism when there was just me to worry about. Now that I've lost count of how many me's there are, things have gotten confusing. Although'" she said glaring at my displaced eyes, "I notice men haven't changed that much."
"I apologize profusely Captain," I said. "I'm still getting used to having my eyes in this rather awkward location."
"And yet, Doctor, it seems that despite the viewing angle, a man's eyes still wind up focused on the same thing."
I looked down, blushing, and I noticed that we were now standing on a square marked, "Community Chest." It required no mirror to ascertain that my blush had grown deeper. Otis looked at Evan, they looked at the square and they both began to laugh. Evan said, "I notice that, unlike our friend Cody wherein each of the two instances of the body seemed to be angry at the other, you various iterations of the Captain seem to get along. Is it because you switch gender each time you change bodies?"
"But we don't always switch," said one of the Captain Haggards, "I remember we had three Captain Maggies in a row one year. I think the primary reason for the lack of animosity is that we, I if you prefer, do not make that big a personal deal of trading in an old body on a new one."
"A personal deal?" said Evan.
"Permit me, if you will," said Sherlock Holmes, "I think I understand. First, though, tell me this Captains, the whole business of swapping an old body for a new. In which country did it originate?"
"None whatsoever," said a Captain Maggie, "It was something we discovered when we first explored the ship."
"Ah yes," said Holmes, "A ship, one of many, of a fleet of ships that happened to appear at the precise moment when Earth became unable to support its burden any longer. Convenient, don't you think?"
Otis coughed and said, "Is the SS Oligarch horse or Troy, you mean, Mr Holmes?"
Holmes started to speak, but Evan spoke first, "Not that it would have made a big difference in the beginning. Earth was doom... uh Earth was,..."
"Doomed, young Knower, doomed," said the voices of several Captains, Haggards and Maggies. "The integrity of the time-line is less threatened by Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson having full knowledge, than it would be by their blissful ignorance," The eldest looking of the Captains continued, "Imagine, gentlemen, finding a ship that meets all your needs, heck, even meets needs you didn't know you had in the first place. The question at the time was, do we live hyper-tentatively as virtual stowaways, second guessing every step, or do we live as human beings. The first time we knew we had to face that was when one of the asteroid mining ships had become infested with a particularly nasty space-plague. And the body swap, which was presented with great detail via one of the programs in the builders' black box, and which had never been attempted under human jurisdiction, was the last resort."
"And you were Captain then, Captain? I said, "Witnessing the first body swap on your watch."
"Not witnessing, Watson, but experiencing. Our good Captains, or Captain, if you prefer, has experimented on himself and herself first, and then afterwards on an ongoing basis. The safety of the passengers and crew has always come first. Correct Captains?"
"Yes Mr Holmes. Though I, we if you prefer, are a bit uncomfortable being beatified while still drawing breath," said one of the quieter iterations of the Captain. "Nor are we alone, Otis, for example, has been most respectably brave in his own right. But now we must leave you to find your way out of here. And the only additional clue we can leave is related to childrens' humor, "There's a new book in the library: '50 Yard Dash to the Outhouse' by Willie Makeit; illustrated by Betty Don't." Does that paint a picture in your minds?" With these words, the group of Captains vanished.
"Think gentlemen," said Holmes, "Out time is running out, and where is the clue? Ideas?"
I said, "Do we know anyone named, "Willie?"
Evan said, "What with the postscript, I'm leaning more toward Betty, though I can't think of any at the moment."
""Betty Don't" implies a negative or a reversal of some sort," said Holmes.
"Icky!" cried Otis.
"What?" I said.
Holmes smiled a half smile and said, "Betty thinks railroads are icky."
"Exactly, Mr Holmes," said Evan. "Cody's childhood friend. And if a reversal is implied, then there should be a ..."
"You mean this," Holmes said as a giant pasteboard card fluttered to our feet. "Help me turn this over."
We did as Holmes asked and the card displayed a phrase, "Take a Ride on the Reading."