It’s Friday. I’ve heard that Fridays are slow news days. I’m publishing my first diary on a Friday (evening, no less) in the hopes that it will be largely ignored on a news-apathetic day.
I’m tired.
I’m tired of being smart. But I’m tired of being ignorant. I want to know more and understand more about politics and history. I’m tired of learning the wrong version. I’m tired of thinking I’ve finally learned something only to be told I don’t know enough of the variables.
I don’t know where to start.
Everything I learned about history from 1st to 4th grade was wrong. From the pilgrims and the Indians to George Washington chopping down a cherry tree to Jesus Christ dying on a cross; I just can’t trust a damn thing about “historical facts”.
And I have nowhere to store historical data. I don’t have a functional filing system. It’s like throwing a marble in a tub with a thousand other marbles. Where’d that marble go? Is this it? I can’t even remember what color it was. I’m pretty sure there was a swirl inside and I think it might’ve had an air bubble.
Is it possible that I’m not capable of learning social sciences?
I consider my options for learning and am met with subliminal ear-flicks. *You know nothing you read is going to tell you the whole truth. *You know one text is going to contradict another. *You know that if you try to discuss what you’ve learned someone is going to know more and throw a bunch of information at you that you know nothing about and can’t dispute. You’ll look like a fool. *It’s a waste of time.
Sigh.