People who identify as LGBT are a very diverse group who are all bound together by one common thread. Every LGBT person has spent time in the proverbial closet and has had to deal with keeping an important part of themselves hidden from the world out of fear of what might happen to them if they came out. They have had to deal with large parts of our society thinking that they are the definition of immorality and a biblical abomination destined for hell. Oh yeah and for the vast majority of them have to face all of this when they're in their teens, unsure about what the world has in store for them and pumped full of all the hormones associated with puberty.
I'll be the first to admit that I have absolutely no idea what its like to be LGBT because I'm a straight white guy (though you can consider me a proud ally!). White privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, you name the societal privilege it probably applies to me. However, I do know what it feels like to be in the closet. I know what it feels like to have to pretend you're someone you're not out of fear. I don't believe in any kind of religion and for some people in this country that can be a closet all of its own.
I grew up with the Catholic Church and CCD as a kid. My parents weren't and aren't overly religious but they felt as if it would be good for me and my brother. I remember as I got older more and more of that doctrine didn't sit well with me. Take the story of Noah's Ark for example. I remember thinking "Why would a God who loves all of his individual creations simultaneously drown nearly all of them? When people do things like that today they're called war criminals."
Many things coming together at once pushed me out of faith privately though. I had to do community service for my confirmation and one of the things I could do that would count towards it was to march at a pro-coat hanger pro-life rally in Washington. So much for thinking that the Church's ugly regressive politics were confined to the upper levels. This was also around the time that allegations of child abuse were starting to come forward against the Church and the Church was doing everything they could to shield these people from prosecution. It's also around the time when I discovered my love for world history and learned that the Catholic Church was very often on the wrong side of history.
Despite no longer believing in it privately I still went through the motions. Hell I even got confirmed. Why did I still go through with it? I felt I would be deeply disappointing certain members of my family who I love very much but are far more religious than I, my late grandmother especially. I knew I wouldn't be shunned and cast out like many gay teens are but I felt it would bring up unnecessary tension and uncomfortable arguments that I was afraid of confronting. I only really "came out" after the death of my grandmother and still to this day I carry a small medal of St. Christopher that she gave me because she believed it would protect me in my travels. I carry it not out of faith in God but in the memory of a woman I loved.
Since I've been out as an unbeliever I've always found that there are situations that present themselves that can make you crawl right back in that closet. Want proof? I'm sure many of you have seen this video before:
The easiest way for her to answer that question would have been to lie and just say "Yes." Wolf Blitzer's line of questioning had the assumption that everyone was not only just religious but specifically one of the three religions that worships the God of Abraham. Were I me from a few years ago in her situation I probably would have just given Wolf the answer he was expecting. I think that unbelievers that would have just said yes if faced with that line of questioning.
I can point to situations in my personal life where this is reflected too. I currently work for some very religious people who are very open about their religion. You can bet your ass I didn't say anything about my lack of belief when I was interviewing for my job. I'm sure that there are also situations that exist where openly gay people find it more convenient to hide their sexual orientation but I can't think of any. Maybe some of you can help me out in the comments with that one.
Aside: When we're at work the focus is the business at hand and they don't try to drag me to their religious events off-hours or try to convert me. I'm cool with that arrangement.
The are most certainly similarities and differences between the LGBT closet and the unbeliever closet. The people we're most afraid of coming out to are often the most religious. Some elected officials in positions of power are perfectly fine with enacting policies that blatantly discriminate against you. Being open in both instances can possibly make it more difficult for you to get a job or run for public office.
The closets are not quite the same though. I can't speak from personal experience but I think that the sexuality closet is far harder for many people to deal with. We live in a society where many of the nation's homeless teenagers are gay and were thrown out by their parents after coming out to them. We live in a society where closeted teenagers can be driven to suicide. We live in a society that has centers that specialize in trying to abuse kids back into the closet. While I'm sure things like that have happened with open unbelievers they're far less commonplace. Also being gay is something that one is born with. I think that lacking faith is a choice and a very conscious decision usually made after a great deal of thought and consideration.
However, we also live in a society that is getting better for us. It is far easier to be gay and/or atheist in America now than it was is any other point in our history. The generations before mine had it far harder than I did and made life much easier for future generations. Compare the mostly positive reaction to an athlete like Jason Collins coming out this year to the crap that Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova had to go through when they came out 30 years ago:
Consider how the media reacted when the outspoken atheist Christopher Hitchens died in 2011 and imagine how they'd react to his death if we were in the 1950s when secularism was unfairly associated with communism. It gets better and it's getting better. In the words of my favourite man of faith Martin Luther King, "The moral arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice." We're slowly winning the fight to live our lives without having to hide a fundamental part of our identities out of fear.
I think it's important to remember that a "closet" exists whenever someone is scared into concealing or lying about parts of who they are. It doesn't even have to be about spiritual beliefs or sexuality either. It can be about your politics, your nationality, your past, or family, friends, and others you've associated with. I want to live in a society where people aren't ashamed for simply being themselves. Society as a whole benefits when people are free to be honest. It gives us a clearer picture about the world and the people who live in it and it unearths problems we didn't yet know existed. Problems can only be resolved if people know that the problem exists. The truth shall set us free.