Star Wars. Death Star. John Williams music and the hair rising on the back of your neck as you realize "That's no moon".
(I recommend playing the linked John William's music above while reading this diary. It enhances the experience ten fold. Go on, I'll wait.)
You would be right about that, it's not a moon, it's the FABULOUS new gay planet of Makeb in the online MMORPG Star Wars: The Old Republic.
Fox 'News' has something new for you to fear.
Despite vocal opposition from thousands of angry gamers, a software developer has added support for homosexual relationships to the game “Star Wars: The Old Republic” -- albeit just on a single planet.
You heard right, the Star Wars MMO commonly known as SWToR is going GAY! Not just a little bit gay, but a whole freakin’ planet full of gay! If you’ve dreamed of having a same-sex Wookie relationship, prepare to have your dreams come true.
Well, not quite.
Bioware, the legendary makers of RPG games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age has always included same-sex romance options in their games. Electronic Arts (the dark side of the force) bought out Bioware a few years back because that’s what they do and SWToR was released without Same Sex Romances, or SGRs as they are commonly referred to in RPG circles. (Damn you acronyms!)
This disappointed a lot of fans of the previous games. There has been a slow but steady clamor for the promised SGR content on the official forums since the game launched. EA/Bioware had completely forgotten their pledge to include the content in the original release of the game, so they came up with a plan. A very, very bad plan.
The upcoming expansion will include one new planet. There are no gay people in the Star Wars universe except on this new planet. Makeb. That’s a really bad name for a gay planet, imho.
So the righties and the fundies and the people just along for the ride have all pounced. Fox’s article is particularly funny because of its extreme inaccuracies and ridiculous conclusions. I linked it earlier, but it truly is too good to pass up.
So I’m sad that the game didn’t have any gay romances for the first year and happy that now we have our own planet (just like Mormons!)
It’s worth noting that SWToR did not celebrate Christmas in-game as most all MMORPGs do in some form, but that didn’t get covered by Fox’s Ministry of Cultural Purity. It took gay Wookies to get their dander up.
And no, you can't even play a Wookie so stop salivating. But you can be gay. Just keep it on your own planet.
Dum, Dum, Dum, Dum de dum, dum de dum.