I miss Rick Santorum's presidential run. A lot.
Wait, weren't we just here? Oh right—different guy. While Herman Cain is concerned that the Devil was the one out to sabotage his presidential run via a series of
sexual harassment allegations, fellow Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum knows that the Devil is behind the whole damn American entertainment complex. So he wants you to go see
his movie, from his newly formed studio, just to show the Devil that Rick Hollywood Santorum is
in charge now.
“This is a tough business, this is something that we’re stepping out,” Santorum said, “and the Devil for a long, long time has had this, these screens, for his playground and he isn’t going to give it up easily.”
The Devil seems really, really busy these days. I'm surprised the Evil One takes such personal interest in the doings of former Republican presidential candidates, but they're probably much more of a direct threat to the Devil than the rest of us. He may have thwarted their plans to remake America in God's own image, but Rick Santorum will retake our theaters and cable channels one cheesy movie at a time.