Last night, Bill Maher blasted the Supreme Court for their horrific rulings that have proven liberals correct about the real intentions of certain people that the Court claimed would not be a problem.
And finally, New Rule: When you promise the American people that something won't happen if you change the law, and then you change the law and it does happen, yeah, you have to eat a little shit for it.
Oh, I'm not talking about him.
I'm talking about him.
Twice now in three years — first with the Citizens United ruling, and then with gutting the Voting Rights Act — Chief Justice John Roberts and the conservatives on the Supreme Court changed the law, and promised no bad would come of it. And bad came of it almost immediately. John Roberts is kind of the legal equivalent of the guy in The Hurt Locker, except in his case he always cuts the wrong wire, and everything always blows up. (audience applause)
Now back in June, before they took their summer break, the Supreme Court dropped the big one — they gutted the 1965 Voting Rights Act, which is the law that forced certain states — let's just say the ones where you might find a Piggly Wiggly — forced those states to get permission from the Justice Department before they made any changes in their voting laws. Why? Well, because in the past, these states had been naughty, and had prevented minorities from voting with little tricks like poll taxes and literacy tests.
But the conservatives on the Court, all excited from being born yesterday, said racism had been cured! And that laws against voter suppression were unnecessary. Relics of a bygone era, like cassette tapes or moderate Republicans. They said that other than shopping at Barney's, there was no evidence anymore that black peop... (one person in audience laughs) — thank you, one person (audience laughter) — there was no evidence anymore that black people needed special protections. Come on, it's 2013, they're dating Kardashians now! (audience laughter)
During arguments of the case, Justice Roberts actually asked with a straight face and a cocked head:
CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS (2/27/2013): Is it the government's submission that the citizens of the South are more racist than the citizens of the North?
(audience laughter)
Well, for example, in the last election, 66% of whites in Vermont voted for our black President; 10% of whites in Mississippi did. So maybe a tad! (audience laughter)
And the South, after all, was responsible for enslaving black people, and Jim Crow, and the KKK, and lynchings, and Paula Deen lives there. I'm going to go with YES! (audience laughter and applause)
So, what happened after the Court changed the law? Within 48 hours, Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, South Carolina, Virginia all moved to make it harder for minorities to vote. The Court was proved thunderously wrong in less time than it takes Miley Cyrus to get dressed.
Same thing happened with the Citizens United ruling. President Obama said at his 2010 State of the Union speech that the Supreme Court had "opened the floodgates for special interests ... to spend without limits in our elections". And Justice Alito was famously shown mouthing the words "Not true". (Bill mouths "not true" twice) Turns out... (Bill mouths "TRUE! TRUE!") (audience applause)
Of course! Left to their own devices, the filthy rich — I'm sorry, I mean America's job creators — it turned out they did indeed sway elections with billions from God knows where.
Creepy billionaire Sheldon Adelson and his wife — the last woman on Earth rocking the Annie Hall look (audience laughter) — they alone spent $150 million dollars in 2012. Money he mainly got from owning a casino in China, just as the Founders envisioned.
And yet, Justice Kennedy, writing for the majority from his tower in Whoville, said:
JUSTICE ANTHONY KENNEDY (1/21/2010): Independent expenditures, including those made by corporations, do not give rise to corruption or the appearance of corruption.
Which is true, except for always. (audience laughter and applause)
John McCain called that naive, which of course it is. And it highlights a very real problem with today's conservatives. They are just too sentimental about how wonderful America is.
Racism? That's over!
Moneyed interests? They couldn't corrupt us if they tried!
Conservatives act like they're tough-as-nails realists, but they cry at fireworks. And they get a warm Morning in America feeling thinking about lighthouses and farmers and the smell of pie. And they just can't believe that Americans, God's chosen and wonderful people — maybe you've heard we're exceptional — would ever do anything as corrupt as... YEAH WE WOULD!
Twice in the last three years, the Court believed in us, and twice, Americans basically said what John Belushi said in Animal House: "You fucked up. You shouldn't have trusted us." (audience cheering and applause)