At 18 and a FNG on a hill in Vietnam ....Strong and..So Naive !
When a soldier comes home from war, many for the most part are a blender of confusion and emotion. The feeling never leaves. They have a name for that confusion and it is called PTSD and survival guilt. As relationships of youth vanish and the job losses start happening, the struggle is significant.
Many times in the readjustment period, or what doctors and the government like to call it, there are many setbacks. Things may improve for old soldiers of war on some coping skills but then the body starts to rack with pain from either old wounds or agent orange, or both. Combine, pain, war trauma, lack of mobiiity, survival guilt and throw in a wheelchair and heart stints and sleep mask for sleep apanea and what you end up with is a 62 year old combat vet who is not quite used to dealing with not only all of this scarring from war but also the anniversary of the suicide of his only birth son from three years ago. November is THAT anniversary.
My husband served in one one of the most gruesome, bloodiest battles of Vietnam. I had no clue why after twenty years we were still dealing with horror nightmares in the night. I learned to try and empathize as I was told many nights to send up smoke. while he was supposed to be asleep.....(a term most vets will recognize to alert help as the enemy was in the area)
We learned recently that my husband took a fall down a mountainside during the monsoons under fire and since there is no record, it is up to us to prove some of the injuries of his mobility and some may go back to that incident along with the peripheal neuropathy, spinal stenosis, and exposure to drenched agent orange and living day after day in fear of your life while fighting the North Vietnamese Army under siege for 23 days and much loss of life and bloodshed. The covert operation was called Operation Ripcord.
Now add in two heart attacks and stints and we have a pretty good picture of what war and the horror of it does to our young men and women. The war was a long time ago to most but for battle fatigued veterans such as my husband, it is as fresh in their minds as yesterday and at times, it is their present. This I try to educate folks about. Many think one can just " get over it". They learn to cope or die. Too many die. There is NO getting over it for many many combat veterans.
My husband was a guitar totin soldier along with his M-16. Today his guitar is as much of him as the weapons of war were. It is much harder to play it though. He thought he could make a career of his music and did for several years...Until he could no longer deal with the crowds, the flashbacks, and now much immobiity without all the other, would stop him from ever entering back into the professional music world. From the jungles of Vietnam, to the world of country and gospel music, to a wheelchair and bed with much loss. This is where the quilt comes in. Sara and Ann wanted to do a quilt for my vet. He has pain and he suffers much. I know some , probably most of his life and still cannot know all or even imagine his suffering. Wings sent him a staff/cane which he holds, along with a beautful Indian necklace. See, my vet is Native American.
The link to Sara's quilt for my vet and the link to her quilt messages and paypal to help defray the costs.
Link to Sara's quilt paypal
http://www.dailykos.com/...
PAYPAL LINK FOR THE QUILT
http://www.dailykos.com/...
He cherishes the support this community has given him and me. He has family but they have ignorned him. Long before I came into the picture, I guess they just did not want to be reminded of the one who was not quite right in their eyes.. The one who wandered aimeless during the 70's. The one who could not enjoy family get togethers. The one who saw the world from a different perspective. He was the one who went to a foreign land and reaped the horrors of war. That's fine. He has me, our kids and this community.
He did his job. He never could quite hold a another job. He never could quite hold his emotions.
Now he can't quite hold the pain. He does his best.
I am asking for 22 more messages of encouragment on this thoughtful quilt. Sara and Ann sew the threads but the community weave the words. I need you to support this effort as Sara is putting so much into this quilt for comfort. No more..no less than any other quilt but we are quite fortunate that we have a magic weaver on here because God knows, some of us need quilts, prayers and any hope of relief we can obtain. I am very concerned as my vet's health is failing and I want him as comfortable and pain free as possible. I want my friends to know I appreciate them and I want him to know we care about those who borne the battle...We don't want that short term memory to stop the love and with that quilt, he can reach down and wrap himself in the reality of people who truly care.
For those interested please help Sara with the quilt for my Vet.
I also inlcuded in this diary some info links about my vet.
">
Vet
and Peter Yarrow of Peter Paul and Mary
Jack on camera wanting more help for veterans and always supporting me in my efforts to bring awareness.
http://video.cnbc.com/...
We are at the 25:21 mark...but the entire video is worth the watch !
Picture heavy below the cloud
">
Backstage at the opry with Ricky Skaggs..years ago
">
The day we adopted the last of our four grandkids which are now our kids. Over 4 years ago. In pain some but no where near where he is now !
">
Took in and helped My Dad, adopted these three and supported and continues to support my advocacy !
">
Despite the pain ..tried to give us music at the DK Forida meetup..Notice he has no shoes as his feet were too swollen. Most of that equipment is no longer here.
">
At the Kos meetup..he still was the clown..but you can see his pain right there in the eyes.
">
This is the last pic taken... end of October ...in his wheelchair and great distress.
We will get some more pics soon....
Thank you Sara, community and much love and appreciation to you all. i am sure the blue and green fabrics will soothe his wounds and bind him up in this community's love.