Washington DC: In a surprise move by the Department of Homeland Security, the Obama Administration stole one hour from the lives of Americans. While there is precedent for this action, sequestering time in this manner has long been a controversial topic, and is usually only acceptable if it is a bi-partisan decision.
House Speaker, John Boehner, was quick to respond: "If this administration thinks it can use sleep deprivation to deny Americans their much needed tax cuts, then I have some news. It will never get out of committee, we will run out the clock". Speaker Boehner was last seen heading down to the Stock Exchange to buy Reynolds Wrap futures.
In the Senate there was an equivalent amount of outrage expressed although there did appear to be a wedge opening between the two legislative bodies. Minority Leader McConnell declaring that while they were unable to restrict Obama to one term, anything that reduces the time he is in office is a good start.
Speaking for the Libertarian (what do they believe?) wing of Republican sentiment, Rand Paul demanded that Obama return the stolen hour, and has given him until the end of October to do so. "President Obama cannot hope to pass a budget until this travesty is reversed", he stated.
In other news ... There was a fender bender on the New Jersey Turnpike when a Boeing 757 tried to land on the southbound carriageway. Apparently the GPS controllers forgot to synchronize their clocks, and the pilot of the jetliner thought he was in Ottawa.