At this point the angel on my shoulder just mutters “You’ll regret it,” then slowly sips whiskey.
If anyone wants to sponsor a man, I'm available. For $20 a month, you'll get a picture of me and a note about how I spent the money.
I could spout some hippie bullshit here but the best thing they did was get everyone to smoke weed for a decade, so just do that.
First, do no harm. Then if motherfuckers won't listen, harm away.
Don't delay happiness for the future, invoke it for today! Start with some motherfucking tacos.
Buy a goat, name it Kevin, put a tutu on it and take it everywhere because no one’s paying attention, anyway.
Embrace change, for it will help you begin again! Also buy a nice soda from a vending machine or pay a toll. Change is pretty useful.
Blamed a lot of stuff on "The Man", today. Feeling pretty good about it, too. [holds up a lone fist]