Last night, Jon Stewart had a hilarious segment looking at how, despite the GOP's attempt at rebranding and minority outreach, several Republicans have been majorly screwing up that outreach with their comments.
What about gay outreach? Two GOP Senators recently announced their support for gay marriage, that's gotta give the party a little momentum. Or at least did, until rising Republican star and famed neurosurgeon Ben Carson weighed in.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/26/2013): Marriage is between a man and a woman. ... No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn't matter what they are. They don't get to change the definition.
Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. You're a smart man, you're a neurosurgeon. You get that one of those things is not like the other, am I right? Gay people are not like NAMBLA or bestiality. It'd be like saying, "Look, I believe the law grants the same rights to all of us, whether we be Christian or rapist." (audience laughter) Like, it's nothing to do with anything. And, the doctor's apology, the apology, she no make-a it no better.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/29/2013): I wasn't equating those things, I don't think they're equal. You know, if you asked me for an apple, and I gave you an orange, you would say, well that's not an orange. And then I say, well there's a banana, that's not an apple either. And there's a peach; that's not an apple either. But it doesn't mean that I'm equating the banana and the orange and the peach.
(shocked audience laughter)
I'm going to ask you for two things. First of all, when you're apologizing to gay people, stay away from fruit analogies. (audience laughter) Wow. And second, your explanation doesn't make any sense either, because while apples and bananas and peaches are — you're right — not the exact same thing, they are all items that go in the same aisle of the grocery store or refrigerator drawer. Unlike gay people, and pedophiles, and horse fuckers. (audience laughter)
Guys, it's not that hard. Look at Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, talking about gun control. He did it right.
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX (2/14/2013): I had this discussion with some wonderful, caring Democrats earlier this week. ... They said, "Surely you could agree to limit the number of rounds in a magazine, couldn't you? I mean, how would that be problematic?" ... Well, once you make it ten, then why would draw the line at ten? What's wrong with nine? Or eleven?
Ah, now, OK. Obviously, the argument itself is silly. I mean, drawing lines and setting limits, that's his job. That's what you do. That's what laws are. It's like going, "Once we set the voting age at 18, what's wrong with 17? Or 5?"
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX (2/14/2013): The problem is once you draw that limit; it's kind of like marriage when you say it's not a man and a woman any more, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not, you know, somebody has a love for an animal?
(even more shocked audience response)
Aside from the fact that you're justifying not limiting one thing by pointing to the need to limit another thing, what is it with you people and the animal fucking??? (audience cheering and applause) I don't understand how your minds always go there, like, "Well, then they'll just remove the laws of fucking animals!"
Is that the only thing that's been holding you back? Because I don't have.... "Oh wow, look at that goat. If only I wouldn't get in trouble!" Like it's not.... (audience laughter)
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Now, you might recall, I guess about two weeks ago, the Republican party had a big announcement to make.
RNC CHAIR REINCE PRIEBUS (3/18/2013): We have to be more inclusive. ... We can be true to our principles without being disrespectful to those who don't agree with 100% of them. ... As President Reagan said, our 80% friend is not our 20% enemy.
"A 25% enemy, however, they can go fuck themselves. I'm serious."
Still, though, kudos to the Republican Party. They saw that they had an outreach and an inclusion problem, and had sort of a come-to-Jesus moment. Or in this case, a come-to-Jesús moment. Because, you know, they figure, we gotta reach out to Latinos. But here's what their rebranding is up against. Not two weeks after the announcement of this new strategy, this.
JOHN BERMAN, CNN (3/29/2013): Alaska Congressman Don Young seems to be in full backpedal mode this morning after using a slur to describe migrant workers. The Republican lawmaker was talking about how technology was affecting the economy when he made this comment to an Alaskan radio station.
REP. DON YOUNG, R-AK (3/26/2013): My father had a ranch. We used to hire 50 or 60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes.
(shocked audience reaction)
They prefer Wetback-Americans.
Wow! What's going on here? Are the Republicans under the impression that you could shoot the moon electorally? Like, somehow if you alienate every Latino, you get all the votes? Like, what possible excuse could this guy have for what he said?
TODAY SHOW (3/29/2013): Young tried to explain why he had used the word "wetback":
REP. DON YOUNG (3/29/2013): I used a term that was commonly used during my days growing up on a farm in Central California.
"And then I fell asleep, and woke up a couple of days ago, frozen in time, along with my core opinions and beliefs. What's changed?"
Bit of a setback for the whole outreach to Latinos thing. What about gay outreach? Two GOP Senators recently announced their support for gay marriage, that's gotta give the party a little momentum. Or at least did, until rising Republican star and famed neurosurgeon Ben Carson weighed in.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/26/2013): Marriage is between a man and a woman. ... No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn't matter what they are. They don't get to change the definition.
Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. You're a smart man, you're a neurosurgeon. You get that one of those things is not like the other, am I right? Gay people are not like NAMBLA or bestiality. It'd be like saying, "Look, I believe the law grants the same rights to all of us, whether we be Christian or rapist." (audience laughter) Like, it's nothing to do with anything. And, the doctor's apology, the apology, she no make-a it no better.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/29/2013): I wasn't equating those things, I don't think they're equal. You know, if you asked me for an apple, and I gave you an orange, you would say, well that's not an orange. And then I say, well there's a banana, that's not an apple either. And there's a peach; that's not an apple either. But it doesn't mean that I'm equating the banana and the orange and the peach.
(shocked audience laughter)
I'm going to ask you for two things. First of all, when you're apologizing to gay people, stay away from fruit analogies. (audience laughter) Wow. And second, your explanation doesn't make any sense either, because while apples and bananas and peaches are — you're right — not the exact same thing, they are all items that go in the same aisle of the grocery store or refrigerator drawer. Unlike gay people, and pedophiles, and horse fuckers. (audience laughter)
Guys, it's not that hard. Look at Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, talking about gun control. He did it right.
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX (2/14/2013): I had this discussion with some wonderful, caring Democrats earlier this week. ... They said, "Surely you could agree to limit the number of rounds in a magazine, couldn't you? I mean, how would that be problematic?" ... Well, once you make it ten, then why would draw the line at ten? What's wrong with nine? Or eleven?
Ah, now, OK. Obviously, the argument itself is silly. I mean, drawing lines and setting limits, that's his job. That's what you do. That's what laws are. It's like going, "Once we set the voting age at 18, what's wrong with 17? Or 5?"
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX (2/14/2013): The problem is once you draw that limit; it's kind of like marriage when you say it's not a man and a woman any more, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not, you know, somebody has a love for an animal?
(even more shocked audience response)
Aside from the fact that you're justifying not limiting one thing by pointing to the need to limit another thing, what is it with you people and the animal fucking??? (audience cheering and applause) I don't understand how your minds always go there, like, "Well, then they'll just remove the laws of fucking animals!"
Is that the only thing that's been holding you back? Because I don't have.... "Oh wow, look at that goat. If only I wouldn't get in trouble!" Like it's not.... (audience laughter)
Didn't you hear what Republican Governor Bobby Jindal said earlier this year?
GOV. BOBBY JINDAL, R-LA (1/24/2013): We've gotta stop being the stupid party.
Yes! (wild audience cheering) Exactly! Now that guy's an up-and-comer. That's the kind of inclusive smart moderate tone that is going to take this Republican Party into the 21st — or late 20th — century. Jindal! How things goin' for that cat?
NEWS REPORT (4/2/2013): A new statewide poll released today shows Governor Bobby Jindal's popularity is in a political tailspin. ... Jindal's approval rating has sunk to 38%.
(audience lamentation)
(Jon makes horse noise) NEEEEEEEIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
We'll be right back.
Jon also
blasted Congress for passing the
Monsanto Protection Act, which was buried in the bill that would keep the government from shutting down, and was slipped into it
anonymously.
Meanwhile, Stephen
took Morning Joe to task for giving a sloppy kiss to disgraced ex-governor Mark Sanford (R) in the SC-01 race against his own sister, and so he officially endorsed her!
Stephen also had
some things to say about Louie Gohmert's stupid statement about gun control and beastiality.
Stephen then looked at the
RNC's Young Voters Survey, and you won't believe some of the questions they ask. Who knew "in the closet" was classified as a sexual orientation, according to the RNC?
Stephen talked with philosopher
A.C. Grayling, and Jon talked with Facebook COO
Sheryl Sandberg, which went long. Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2