NOTE: I got so tired of seeing Conservatives re-purpose this poem that the only rational response, of course, was to do the same.
First they came for my library records,
And I cheered because we were at war with the evildoers.
Then they wiretapped my neighbors,
And I cheered because I’m not a Muslim so I had nothing to hide.
Then they rounded up protestors, and forced them into designated “Free Speech Zones”,
And I cheered because the First Amendment does not apply during a time of crisis.
Then they tried to take away the right to habeas corpus,
And I cheered because they wouldn’t have convicted you if you weren’t guilty.
Then they said we should overturn the Posse Comitatus Act,
And I didn’t know what that was, but they said it caused lots of deaths during Hurricane Katrina so I figured overturning it was probably a good thing.
Then they elected a black man with a foreign-sounding name,
And I worried that freedom was under attack.
Then they screwed up some talking points about a US embassy,
And I shouted that freedom was under attack.
Then they suggested that maybe I could defend my home without machine guns and bazookas,
And I demanded, “When will you liberals wake up and see that freedom is under attack?!”
Then they asked not-for-profit corporations with secret donors to certify they were complying with federal regulations,
And I screamed, “Freedom is dead!!”
Then they came with access to low-cost healthcare,
And I said, “Fuck this, I’m moving to Canada!!”