Hi, I've been here a long time, and this is the first I've used the place for this type of thing.
Thanks to anyone and everyone for any insight they can give me.
I have a close friend. We've known each other for many years. At one time, we were in love. We're still very close, and i think I may be the closest person presently in her life. In fact, I may be the only person she opens up to.
She's had relationship problems her entire life, as most of us have. But as she's gotten older, it's become clear to me that (although really bisexual) she's gay.
She's always been open about her many loves, but recently she wrote about her past loves with boys/men throughout her life, and she alluded to the fact that she might be gay.
She lives in a part of the U.S. that frowns deeply on anything gay, and although the people around her, I think, would be supportive, I think she won't come out on her own. She's talked for years about moving to a big city, I think because she would feel freer to be with another woman.
The advice I need pertains to how to give her what she needs, and to know when she needs a kick in the ass to get her moving in the direction she needs. Or even to know for sure what that direction is.
But, just this morning she said some things that kind of sealed the deal for me.
She's gay.
And I said in the return email:
"Perhaps it's just a matter of finding the right [love/sexual] partner. And waiting until that person comes into your life. And not souring on the idea of finding this person, before they can make themselves known to you.
Because she will."
I wrote "she" without really thinking. And thought of editing it. But I left it in........
I don't know how she'll take it, or if she'll even notice.
But it's the first time I've broached the subject with her........in ANY way.
I need advice on how to proceed if she opens up to me about all this..........
She's been drinking heavily lately, and she's ready to crash somehow. I just want to catch her before she hurts herself too bad.
Thanks for any help you can give.