For some reason the RNC has sent me an e-mail giving me the exciting opportunity to weigh in on a confidential (shhh!) straw poll of their 2016 field of candidates:
Friend,
You are one of a handful of conservatives whom I have selected to take the confidential 2016 Presidential Straw Poll.
The battle for the White House has already begun.
That's why we must start identifying potential nominees right now to lead the party in the 2016 elections. And we need your input.
I need you to take two minutes and fill out our survey to give us your opinion on the potential 2016 Republican candidates.
Thank you,
Sharon Day
RNC Co-Chair
I haven't the slightest idea why Sharon is calling me her friend, nor where she got the idea my opinion would be valuable to her (conservative? moi?), but heck, she clearly needs my help and it'd be rude to not heed the call.
The problem is, whom to pick? The choices make the mind reel. Follow me below the fleur de kos for my choices.
Here is the dizzying array of options:
Kelly Ayotte, New Hampshire Senator
Haley Barbour, Former Mississippi Governor
John Bolton, Former U.S. Ambassador to the U.N.
Jeb Bush, Former Florida Governor
Herman Cain, Former CEO
Ben Carson, Neurosurgeon & Author
Chris Christie, New Jersey Governor
Ted Cruz, Texas Senator
Mitch Daniels, Former Indiana Governor
Newt Gingrich, Former House Speaker
Nikki Haley, South Carolina Governor
Mike Huckabee, Former Arkansas Governor
Bobby Jindal, Louisiana Governor
John Kasich, Ohio Governor
Peter King, New York Congressman
Susana Martinez, New Mexico Governor
Sarah Palin, Former Alaska Governor
Rand Paul, Kentucky Senator
Ron Paul, Former Texas Congressman
Tim Pawlenty, Former Minnesota Governor
Mike Pence, Indiana Governor
Rick Perry, Former Texas Governor
Rob Portman, Ohio Senator
Condoleezza Rice, Former Secretary of State
Marco Rubio, Florida Senator
Paul Ryan, Wisconsin Congressman
Brian Sandoval, Nevada Governor
Rick Santorum, Former Pennsylvania Senator
Tim Scott, South Carolina Senator
John Thune, South Dakota Senator
Scott Walker, Wisconsin Governor
Allen West, Former Florida Congressman
WRITE-IN (optional)
My first thought was to pick those candidates I think would generate the most delicious campaign fodder based on past performances (e.g. Sarah "Who?" Palin or Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum), but once I thought past the obvious choices I began to smile at the kinds of campaigns some of the other options might run.
It might be fun to see what Herman Cain or Newt Gingrich might do this time around, but what about the newbies? John Bolton is a completely baffling possibility, as is Ben Carson. Chris Christie? Now, at this delicate stage of GWB-gate? Allen West would certainly flush a lot of the lunatic fringe out of the bushes. And speaking of bushes: Jeb? Really?
So what do you think? What three names would you pick?