Family can be so very toxic.
Robby Rikard is a baptist pastor because of course he is...our story just wouldn't be the same if he weren't. However much he wants this story to be about his cousin Jessica and her husband, Robby is the central actor in our drama (written by Rob Watson aka @JandJDad, who deserves major props)..
Other characters in the story are Robby's cousin Jessica and her husband Nick and American Family Association hater-in-chief Bryan Fisher.
Now Nick is a transman. Jessica and Nick recently married...in Mississippi.
Jessica picks up the story. She got a PM from Robby on September 23.
Jessica, I want you to know that I love you both as a person and as my family. You hand [sic] I practically grew up together, and I don’t want you to think that I am angry with you. But I have to tell you that what you and Nick are doing is wrong, and I am going to be doing all that I can to challenge it. I realize this might upset you, but I have to do what is right as difficult as it is going to be.
--Robby
Jessica had no idea what "challenge it" meant.
She found out when Robby posted to his Facebook.
Last week I learned of a same sex marriage that took place right here in the state of Mississippi. Two females, one of which is a family member of mine, applied for and was [sic] granted an official marriage license in Desoto county. One of the partners poses as a man and managed to obtain a driver’s license that legally identified her as a male. I would like to urge all Mississippians who are outraged to join me. This is a battle that has come to us and we cannot afford to lose traditional marriage.
--Robby Rikard
He then identified Jessica and Nick and gave the phone numbers of the attorney general, lieutenant governor and the governor.
Later that evening Jessica received a PM from a woman she didn't know
You need to see this video.
The video makes it seem like we did all of this to pull one over on the state of Mississippi, and that’s nowhere close to the truth.
Mine is not an illegal marriage in any state, because it is not a same sex union at all. That is not legal in this state, and there is no ‘loop hole’ for that to be possible. Nick actually transitioned from female to male, and had his name and gender legally changed complete with birth certificate, social security card, drivers license, and all medical licenses. After all of that was completed we were able to apply for our marriage license and got married, the same as any other opposite gender couple.
--Jessica
Nick started his transition before 2010. He works as a paramedic, saving people's lives. Now he and Jessica have to worry when he is working.
While he is out saving strangers lives, we have to worry about the safety of our family and his career. It takes teamwork from his fellow co-workers and since the videos and articles have come out, he has been treated like an outcast.
--Jessica
Nick's coworkers had, up until Robby got involved, only known Nick as a man. Now some of them are struggling to continue thinking that.
For me when I saw the video I felt it was one of the worst betrayals ever, to find out that someone made us out so horribly, and on top of it for it to come from a family member. The feelings we felt over this outrage, words can’t describe. We are being vilified for the same loving and commitment other married Mississippi couples share with each other. Our right to commit to each other for the rest of time is being portrayed as everything it’s not. The video want to portray us as deceivers who did all of this to pull one over on the state of Mississippi, and that’s nowhere close to the truth. The truth is our marriage is built out of the love we have for each other.”
We are very grateful for the support and love that we have come across through this attempt to humiliate us. So much of our family have stepped up and let us know they are open minded and accepting and loving. The members of Nick’s family are powerful defenders of him as a man and a hero. Especially his dad, who has always been his biggest supporter. My family accepts Nick as the person for who he really is, especially my sister and most of them right here in Mississippi.
--Jessica
Jessica has a new definition of family:
Blood cousin Robby is not family. The “American Family Association” is not an association of families; it is an association of those who want to attack families that do not look exactly like a set of limited parameters. Those who see his life saving work but who cannot see Nick as he is, are not family. It is the people who love, support and celebrate him who are the true family, and Jessica and Nick are blessed to have many who have such qualifications in their lives.
--Rob Watson
Other thoughts about family:
A family is the people who will love and be there for you no matter what. They are there to pick you up in hard times and to share your joy. You never give up on them and you'll do whatever it takes to stay together; such as compromise, communicate, sacrifice and most of all, love one another. A family is your heart and soul next to God.
A Family Runs Through It
In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.
--Friedrich Nietzche
At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable.
--Mark V. Olsen
I sustain myself with the love of family.
--Maya Angelou
When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching — they are your family.
--Jim Butcher
Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.
--David Ogden Stiers
All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
--Leo Tolstoy
The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family.
--Mother Theresa
Nick taught me what marriage is. Now someone I grew up with has caused me to re-look at what I thought being family meant. It does not mean blood and telling falsehoods to meet an agenda. It means love and honesty. I stand corrected, and we are now a stronger family as a result.
--Jessica
Sharing DNA is no big deal. A person’s ability to look deep, push past their own pre-conceived notions to better understand a family member they love, and then stand up for them, that ability brings the greatest value in life. Some will learn they have that ability within themselves and stand proud. Others will make videos.
--Rob Watson