From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Week Ahead
Monday You are here. Friday is down there. Here's a spoon. Start digging.
It's mayoral election day in Toronto, and among the candidates is Doug Ford who, like his younger brother Rob whom he's running in place of, is a human gaffe machine. Ford says he's raised $500,000 for his campaign---$500 from small donors and $499,500 from the Late Night TV Joke Writers Lobby.
If you make it through the day in one piece, enjoy watching Wendy Davis on The Daily Show tonight.
All week long!
Tuesday With one week before election day, Democratic candidates promise to create jobs, raise the minimum wage, expand Medicaid in states that haven't yet, make college affordable for everyone, and legislate with facts and common sense. Republicans promise to make you sick with fear over ebola, ISIS, illegals and FEMA camps. It's good to have choices.
Wednesday A crescent moon will be visible in the night sky. Or as World Net Daily will call it in its giant above-the-fold headline: "Secret Obama Plot Turns Moon Muslim."
Having run out of things to paint, former President
George W. Bush starts painting paintings of his paintings.
Thursday President Obama travels to Portland, Maine to stump for Rep. Mike Michaud, the Democrat running for governor against tea party embarrassment Paul LePage. During the rally, a mentally-deranged lobster wriggles its way to within inches of Obama's ankle before being taken down, boiled, and served with butter by the Secret Service.
It's National Candy Corn Day. Candy corn is yummy. Eat candy corn or you'll die from Ebola spread to you by illegals in a FEMA camp run by ISIS. A public service message from the National Republican Candy Corn Council.
Friday The University of Michigan's October consumer sentiment report comes out, and Americans across a variety of demographic groups say they're pretty happy. The one exception: University of Michigan football fans.
Trick-or-Treaters swarm neighborhoods for Halloween. The usual exception: Elm Street.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, October 27, 2014
Note: [Sigh] Fine, I'll say it again: "I vant to suck your blood." Now gimme mah candy. And it better not be raisins.
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4 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections:
8
Days 'til the 20th annual
Franklin County Cider Days in Massachusetts:
4
Increase in the index of leading economic indicators in September, following 0% growth in August:
0.8%
(Source: The Conference Board)
Percent more likely online daters are to split up after a year vs. face-to-face daters:
28%
(Source:
The Week)
Amount paid by the Henry Ford Museum for a
1976 Apple-1 computer:
$905,000
Number of Apple-1s in working condition, out of the 50 made in Steve Jobs' garage:
15
Years I've been hanging around at Daily Kos as of today:
11
Major League World Series Game 5
San Francisco Giants 5 Kansas City Royals 0
(San Francisco leads the series 3 games to 2.)
And This…
New England Patriots 51 Chicago Bears 23
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Your Monday Robin Williams Moment
"If on your tax form it says $50,000 for snacks: Mayday. You've got yourself a cocaine problem."
"The French have a bomb too! Maybe they have the Michelin Bomb---only destroys restaurants under four stars!"
"Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother."
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Little helper
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CHEERS to opening your mouth and saying, "Aaah…it's nice to finally be able to go to a doctor to open my mouth and say 'Aaah." More proof that Democrats are the party that actually helps people:
No one seems to want to take a
"Repeal Obamacare" button anymore.
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The federal healthcare law has dramatically increased coverage among Latinos, according to a new report that provides a comprehensive look at the effects of the Affordable Care Act on a historically underinsured community. Overall, the percentage of Latinos ages 19 to 64 lacking health coverage fell from 36% to 23% between summer 2013 and spring 2014. […]
In states that expanded Medicaid, including California, the uninsured rate among working-age Latino adults dropped by about half, from 35% to 17%. By contrast, the uninsured rate in states that did not expand Medicaid, including Texas and Florida, was statistically unchanged, according to the report.
A quick reminder for you voters out there: the law was passed by Democrats. Please mark your midterm ballots accordingly.
CHEERS to a good reason to get ink all over your hands. The usual caveat applies: newspaper endorsements do not swing elections. Having said that, it's nice having the big ones in your corner, and Kentucky's are squarely in the one occupied by Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes':
Grimes strikes a senatorial pose.
[T]he editorial boards of both the Louisville Courier-Journal and the Lexington Herald-Leader gave ringing endorsements of Alison Lundergan Grimes for the U.S. Senate. In addition to noting Grimes' support of a minimum wage increase, access to child care, expanded Pre-K education, reduced student loan rates, and marriage equality, the write ups included blistering criticisms of McConnell.
Also: the mighty
Des Moines Register endorsed Democrat Bruce Braley over Joni Ernst for senate. Meanwhile, in New Hampshire Scott Brown nabbed the critical endorsement of
Carpetbagger Monthly, which he will formally accept at a ceremony in Massachusetts.
CHEERS to busting "state's rights" in the chops. On October 27, 1787, the first of the Federalist Papers was released under the name "Publius" (later revealed to be Alexander Hamilton). The goal: to make the case that "the insufficiency of the present confederation" required a new constitution that would mean "nothing less than the existence of the UNION, the safety and welfare of the parts of which it is composed, the fate of an empire in many respects the most interesting in the world." Hamilton, along with co-authors Madison and John Jay, knew they'd have critics, and this snip shows that they'd be dealing with their own version of the "Get a brain, moran" crowd:
The essays that put meat
on the Declaration of
Independence's bones.
[W]e have already sufficient indications that it will happen in this as in all former cases of great national discussion. A torrent of angry and malignant passions will be let loose. To judge from the conduct of the opposite parties, we shall be led to conclude that they will mutually hope to evince the justness of their opinions, and to increase the number of their converts by the loudness of their declamations and the bitterness of their invectives. An enlightened zeal for the energy and efficiency of government will be stigmatized as the offspring of a temper fond of despotic power and hostile to the principles of liberty. An over-scrupulous jealousy of danger to the rights of the people, which is more commonly the fault of the head than of the heart, will be represented as mere pretense and artifice, the stale bait for popularity at the expense of the public good.
But I'll say this for the original teabaggers of yore: at least they could wear tri-corn hats without looking like idiots.
JEERS to ebola Nazis. This is how you don't treat someone returning from West Africa:
"Schultz! Throw that nurse in the coooooler!"
Kaci Hickox, a nurse placed under mandatory quarantine in New Jersey, went on CNN on Sunday and criticized the "knee-jerk reaction by politicians" to Ebola, saying "to quarantine someone without a better plan in place, without more forethought, is just preposterous." Hickox, an epidemiologist who was working to help treat Ebola patients in Sierra Leone, has tested negative twice for Ebola and does not have symptoms, she said.
She slammed New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie for describing her as "obviously ill." "I'm sorry, but that's just a completely unacceptable statement in my opinion."
Trust me, Kaci---you're not the one who should be apologizing.
CHEERS to defendin' the homeland on the high seas. Happy Navy Day! On October 27, 1775 the Continental Congress called for creation of a fleet of ships to raid British transport vessels for arms and supplies, a proposal that would form the beginnings of what would eventually become the United States Navy. 239 years later their motto remains the same: "Beat Army!"
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Five years ago in C&J: October 27, 2009
CHEERS to taking the patient off life support. Chuck Schumer could barely contain his glee last night when he discussed the fact that a public option will be part of the Senate's merged healthcare reform bill. But what kind of option did Harry Reid promise yesterday? As Rachel Maddow explained:
"A public option only for a small fraction of the population and it will only be available in some places."
It would also give state governments
five years to decide if they want to play in the federal sandbox or not. But it's a start, and we hear Nancy Pelosi is planning to bring a baseball bat when the House meets the Senate at the negotiating table. Good thing they've got cheap, government-run, gold-plated healthcare.
[10/27/14 Update: Conservative Democrats and Joe Lieberman saw to it that the public option never saw the light of day. But at least we got Medicaid expansion, which the Supreme Court later made optional but which is working great in the growing number of states that have it. Progress: it's a fits 'n starts thing.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to fun and games with the birthday kids! Hillary Clinton, who stumped for Maine governor's race candidate Mike Michaud on Friday, got a 67 percent discount at Denny's yesterday, and Teddy Roosevelt will actually get money back as he turns 156 today. Pop quiz: guess who said it…
Happy Birthday, ma'am.
"All of us have to recognize that we owe our children more than we have been giving them."
"Every reform movement has a lunatic fringe."
"I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head."
"Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it. Otherwise, let it roll right off you."
Happy Birthday, sir.
"Some men can live up to their loftiest ideals without ever going higher than a basement."
"In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I'm keeping a chart."
"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
"I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair."
Answers: Hillary, Teddy, Teddy, Hillary, Teddy, Hillary, Teddy and, believe it or not, Hillary
and Teddy.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“The perfume of Bill in Portland Maine is quite strong, with the odour of rotten eggs (hydrogen sulphide), horse stable (ammonia) and the pungent, suffocating odour of formaldehyde.”
---Kathrin Altwegg
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