Vlad Putin with the covert assistance of the IRS, and Huma Abadin, and with the secret knowledge of Hillary Clinton, forced the pilots of Malaysia Airlines flight 370 to shut off all of their transponders and divert to BENGAZI!
Once there the Muslim, Kenyan, Communist, Socialist, Nazi, (continue to enter you conflicting adjectives here..) Dictator, Barack HUSSEIN Obama™, appeared and began to demand that each passenger sign up for the Affordable Care Act against their will!
Upon seeing this abomination, the Lord God became wrathful, and immediately raptured the entire group of passengers, along with the airplane, into His heavenly place!
Darrell Issa shall commence immediate hearing into this matter, and John McCain with Lindsey Graham are putting forth a bill that we declare war simultaneously on Iran, Syria, Russia, and North Korea, and all non-military discretionary spending be cut and converted to military spending as soon as possible!
I know this is true because I just saw it on CNN!