I'm not sure if I'm more tuned into this kind of thing now that I'm the primary caregiver and The Wife is the primary breadwinner, but it seems like the fact that this is 2014, and that tradition when it comes to what "masculinity" and "femininity" is changing is finally sinking in to the traditional media. Just yesterday, two diametrically opposite views on this were presented in two very different ways by two very different publications. More down below.
First, Carolina Parent magazine (yes, Carolina Parent magazine) published a piece called "Stay-at-Home Superdads Share Their Best Tips!"
I didn't read it.
Then, there was this, from conservative Erik Erickson, in response to a shooting at UCSB:
"In a “war on women” culture, some vocal voices have seized on this as what happens to men questing for a fully masculine culture. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.
Best we can tell, Elliot Rodger lived the very lifestyle the cultural left thinks men should live and that is regularly glorified on the silver screen. For all the talk of a “War on Women,” there has actually been a war on masculinity for a few decades. And more and more twenty-something young men are getting lost and acting out while society tries to find something new to replace the tried and true.
Society used to expect men to open doors, protect their families, and be champions of modesty and virtue. But chivalry is dead. Instead of men and women complimenting each other, they’re supposed to be perfectly equal even if they are not. The hook up culture, instant gratification, and selfishness pervade our culture."
Powerfully stupid.
The "society" that he speaks of happens to be the one I live in, and let me tell you, that society BOMBARDS me with traditional expectations of masculinity.
Sorry, I don't drive a pickup truck, despite that stupid ad. You know the one: "A man. A man and his truck. A man, his truck, and an antiquated idea of masculinity..."
I don't look like any of the guys I see in advertisements (though I do look like the ones who are the butt of jokes on sitcoms.)
I'm not caked in dirt or motor oil all weekend.
I don't shop at Gander Mountain or Bass Pro Shops.
The Wife can open her own door.
I protect my family from actual problems, just not any of the imaginary boogeymen people like Mr. Erickson are trying to get me to be scared of.
I don't own a manly, manly gun because this protective part of me knows that gun is more likely to harm my children than protect them.
The wife and I do compliment each other. It doesn't matter to us that we're not equal when it comes to unimportant matters like salary or physical strength, but it's important that we continue to be equal when it comes to almost everything that resides within the sphere of politics.
None of this has made me part of the "hook up culture," none of it has caused me to demand instant gratification from a woman, and none of it has made me selfish. If I'm selfish, I did that all by myself.
I remain hopeful that we're in the death throes of this soft bigotry of antiquated expectations. As with most things, the next generation has it figured out, and they keep making people like Mr. Erickson look like dinosaurs. They know there's nothing manly about being a dick.