It started it's life from a comment in one of the animal diaries the other day and it just grew. There was no stopping it. It may be a cautionary tale, it may not. But I've wasted too much time on this to back out now. Forgive me, I'm weak. Anyway it's the weekend.
Not long ago a conflict erupted in a Suburbia.
Directly from the front lines-Friends this is the silliest battlefield I've ever had the fortune to report from. We see here how it started.
Field Maneuvers.
Why it escalated to such a degree is anyone's guess. The Cats at one point seemed to take on the old, and I might add self-destructive paradigm of: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
And the fighting continues.
The horror and brutality is almost to much to bare. You just wish some force would come in and end it. Everyone was hopeful the peace talks in Geneva would lead to a cease paw. But it was not to be. Petty bickering, acrimony and in-fighting ensued and the whole process came to a screeching halt. Nobody is home for Christmas this year.
The back and forth fighting is heavy now. No one side is able to forge ahead and break the deadlock. The end seems nowhere in sight. In a very disturbing turn of events, it appears Haliburton is supplying and funding both sides. If it's true that's war profiteering. The people insist on Congressional hearings.
Christmas Eve in the trenches.
Please send your unused Christmas trees to support our friends, we do.
Reports have come in that the POW camps are so ghastly they're not to be believed. Even from what we see here. they are in clear violation of Red Fur Cross regulations. However due to the effectiveness of the French Bichon Fries Underground, and their clever use of disguise, escapes were successful. No doubt a great deal of tunneling was involved.
Here we see a daring escape from Stalag Luft 113 A.
Everyone enjoys their emails from home.
Almost overnight the theater of operations goes deep in the Aarf-Den Forest. The Dogs quickly build a strong defense perimeter. However, the Cats by sheer cunning and guerrilla warfare techniques infiltrate the Dogs encampment. The Cats seem to adapt well to the unfamiliar and unyielding terrain.
But the cats have made a drastic mistake going in without proper backup. The dogs quickly surround the Cats.
The Dogs however give the Cats an option of surrender. The Cats say, "Dog Nuts."
Here is a Dog taking a prisoner.
The Cat is brought inside Dog headquarters, stripped of intelligence and questioned.
Not to be outdone the Cats have proved they can hold their own in that respect. As we see here.
And on various scouting and surveillance missions, the Cats can easily keep would be attackers at bay with one paw tied behind their back. Size in some cases seems to be on the side of the Cats. Especially the very small ones. It's like they have hidden powers to bewilder and confuse the Dogs.
Medevac units land to refuel at various staging sites. They then take the wounded back to a M.E.W.S. field hospital. Renown for their gallows humor, quick wit, and quirky banter, the CAF is always on the go. Or as they affectionately call themselves "Murder and Mayhem." Here we see them in a fly-by using a formation only they can understand. Murder and organized mayhem if you ask me. Never lost a charge yet. Way to go M&M Gang.
"Don't call me Shirley."
"What was that? I'm afraid I'm not getting your banter. Could you type a little slower?"
"Friends it's infectious."
Carrier pigeons were also deployed on the front lines to transfer urgent messages.
The Red Fur Cross helps both sides.
At Fort Quietude we see some fortunate Dogs and Cats taking in some much needed R&R and enjoying a USO Show. Dudes abide.
Wow they say, holy cats, a three day pass!
Did you say holy cats, a three day pass? I thought that's what you said.
Yet the fighting persists. Examine closely the absolute skill and precision these fine Dogs and Cats display with their paw to paw combat.
Unfortunately in close and intense sorties some fell victim to "friendly fire."
It was a long hard fought battle, and both sides displayed a tremendous amount of courage and valor. I'm happy to report it's the end of all hostilities. After some minor disputes are settled, in a few days we will have the signing of the Backyard/Living Room Peace Accord. The Kitchen as it always has been will remain neutral. Here's to quick return home, and to normalcy. Whatever that means. Happy days are here again. Jump for joy.
A view of the aftermath and wreckage.
Here's some footage direct from the front line. We see the massive destructive force of the Cats. Warning there are some scenes showing collateral damage. May not be suitable for kittens and pups. Parental discretion is advised.
Just declassified these secretly recorded reels show the extent and depth of the Dog Allied force. We showed these stunning films to the Cats for comment they said, "We knew all along they were using covert methods, and we knew all about their spies. As well as their efforts at Bayley Park in decoding our crafty device."
"We had our own counter espionage measures. And if things didn't go our way in the end, if we got the short end of the stuffed mouse, we were fully prepared to use it all as evidence in a Tribunal Court at the Hague. In all likelihood the Dogs would have been banished from polite society forever."
"What were they?"
"What?"
"What were your counter measures?"
"Ha! I could tell you, but then I'd have to rip your pillow open with my bare claw."
"Are you bitter?"
"Lets, just move on shall we. Show your films."
Friends you heard it from the Cats. First will will see a very successful sabotage run.
Secondly it appears we're looking at an intelligence gathering mission to thwart enemy plans.
Roll it.
As we see, the extent of the damage is quite significant. Fortunately both sides have agreed to a Marshall Plan to rebuild and repair. And as per the Peace Accord they both agree to a "Diplomacy First" mandate to end squabbles. Also added is the clause to employ third party mediation to guard against bribery and corruption.
Coming home for good.
Well friends this is my last report from the front lines. I'll be home soon as well. But there is happy news. I'm very glad to say it's been quite some time now and the great Hiss and Bark Uprising, aptly named by Toys and Bones has all but vanished from memory.
The veterans of that great battle are living their lives in peace and tranquility. With new found friends and activities, they are destined for a long happy life.
Good night and good luck. I've got to go to the dentist.