Thought we’d do a bit of a roll call tonight. Checking in, checking each other out as it were. So with that in mind here are some questions to get you going but feel free to write about anything you like as always.
Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7:30-8:30 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.
Where are you with your cancer? Are you in the diagnosis phase? Staging? Treatment? Post treatment check ups? Remission? Cured?
Seems like easy questions to answer but I know from experience it isn’t. After I had 2 doctors check out my lump, had a mammogram (inconclusive), ultrasound (asshat doctor told me I had cancer when he shouldn’t have), another doctor checking out the lump and finally a biopsy, I was quite confused. Partly because except for the one asshat the doctors were so vague.
I remember asking a friend if she thought I should tell people that I have cancer. She went into this long spiel about how sharing was up to me. I said “No, no, I mean, do you think I have cancer?” Her answer was “Ummm… duh”. But in a nice way.
After my first surgery when they found cancer in my lymph notes, I was convinced I had cancer.
Treatment isn’t any easier for me to define. As most of you know, I didn’t do chemo, radiation or Tamoxifin, opting to use Traditional Chinese Medicine instead. Since that’s holistic you pretty much do it for life I think. I am at the point where I do check ups every 4 months with my surgeon and oncologists.
Where are you emotionally with your cancer? Are you ignoring it? Scared to death of it? Angry or accepting? (I’m going to put a poll at the end for this one.)
I know people who aren’t exactly ignoring it but it doesn’t seem to bother them. Maybe they are accepting it? I don’t know. Worry is my fallback mental activity. I was very, very scared in the beginning. For several years I was convinced I was going to die of cancer and die soon.
I was never angry that I can remember and I’m not one of those who think cancer is a “blessing in disguise”. I am totally not a positive thinker and I have noticed that positive thinkers die at the same rate as negative thinkers. They may be happier while alive though.
Where are you socially? Are your best friend’s doctors and nurses? Do you mostly hang with others with cancer? Are you back to your normal routines with your friends?
I can remember when it seemed like I lived in hospitals. I knew all the routines, all the receptionists, etc. I had a pack I carried with me with notes, books to read, snacks and water.
Then I switched from hospitals to hanging out at Gilda’s Club, a support group, 3 or 4 times a week. I will say, they provide snacks and have their own library.
Now I am back to regular old life, though with a modified schedule and I have my old friends all back. (Disclosure: my best friends all live in the TV.)
So where are you at with your cancer? Please check in, check us out. Join our club.