Ohai, citizen! Whatcha doin'? Just kicking back and enjoying the stuff you like? Sport? Apple pie? Re-runs of Gilligan's Island? Loving Baby Jesus? That's cool. How about sodomy? What's that? You say you're not really into that?
Well, you, my friend, are shit outta luck: because you have to worship and practice sodomy: it's the law.
Or so says GOP candidate for the Colorado state legislature Gordon Klingenschmitt.
You're not familiar with the Goofy Gordy? Oh, boy...are you in for a treat: Gordo is the wacko's wacko. Whether he's advising 'Christians' to sell their clothes and buy guns or accusing Congressman Jared Polis (D-CO) of wanting to 'behead Christians', Gordo is never knowingly under-crazied.
So what act of persecution has got his Christian undies in an uproar this time? The fact that a New York court fined a wedding business for denying service to a same-sex couple. According to Gaga Gordo:
Christians are fined $13,000 and may no longer celebrate the Christian sacrament of marriage in their own home, unless they also host lesbian weddings. Literally the court is banning Christian worship, saying these Christian farmers cannot worship Christ during a wedding, unless they also worship and participate equally in sodomy in their own home.
There you have it: get your sodomy shoes on and get to sodomizing (
you don't really know what sodomy is, do you?-Ed.). It's the law (
no, it isn't-Ed.)
Thanks, Obama.