My mother Jean died in December, after 10 or more years of advancing dementia. She was able to live out her life in her own home, in a place she loved. Her end was as peaceful as any of us can ask for: she had a stroke and never regained consciousness. The medical profession ensured she suffered no discomfort or pain, and she died a week later.
I’ve been pondering (which is always dangerous), and reflecting on things people said at her memorial celebration (“elegant and formidable”), and what some friends have said about their mothers and what society required from them.
My own short characterization of Jean was that she cared about people, cared about relationships, had a wicked sense of humour, and did not tolerate bullshit.
I have come to fully realize that Jean lived through, and personifies, a complete revolution in the role of women in our society.
She went from dutiful daughter, wife, and mother, to a single self-sufficient person. On the way she had to educate various bank managers that it was in fact possible for a woman to understand a financial contract without benefit of expensive legal explanation. She bought a property and built a house on it. She was professionally successful, leading a department, and published the textbook for school gymnastics. At age 50 she gained her master’s degree.
I continue to encounter people who believe that Jean changed their lives.
The strength that was needed to go through the life she experienced is something of which I am in awe.
In Jean’s memory and honour, can we all fight the good fight for women’s place in our society, as equals, and often our betters.
Antony