From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Friday Mollyblogging
Eight years ago tomorrow America lost Molly Ivins. She was 62. Cancer got her, but she was full of fight right to the end. In their must-read biography, Molly Ivins: A Rebel Life, Bill Minutaglio and W. Michael Smith describe Molly as...
...a latter-day Mark Twain-meets-Will Rogers. She was the wisecracking social commentator who gleefully teed up on anyone whose boot heels clicked across the marble floors in the House of Power. Her column and her books were always anchored by a photo of her wide-open, inviting face---and she always seemed on the verge of a booming laugh. She crisscrossed the country, drew huge crowds, made innumerable national TV appearances, and was given honorary degrees, and all the while, powerful Hollywood producers were trying to decide whether to create a television series based on her---or to go all the way and put her life on the big screen.
She was first-rate at documenting the quirks and oddities of her home state of Texas, especially its good-old-boy political machine (and, coincidentally, the 2014-15 New England Patriots):
We had a governor who was caught in a big, fat lie about a football scandal (serious stuff) and explained, "Well, there never was a Bible in the room."
More Molly:
• When last we left that merry band of Republican brothers in Congress, they were deregulating shit on beef.
• Newt [Gingrich] explains to us that beach volleyball is a game that people started playing on beaches all by themselves, without any government bureaucrats telling them how to do it. And gradually, the people organized themselves into leagues and began playing competitive beach volleyball, and after 20 years, they got beach volleyball accepted as an Olympic sport, all without any help from the government. "That," said Speaker Gingrich, "is what freedom is all about." Aaaahhh, I hear you say, now I understand. Now, for the first time, I get what freedom is all about. Yep, there it is.
• On Pat Buchanan's culture-war speech at the 1992 Republican convention: "[It] probably sounded better in the original German."
• From Jan. 1996: The most worrisome parts of our economic pickle are (1) the growing gap between rich and poor in this country; (2) stagnant wages for the middle class; (3) jobs being shipped abroad where wages are cheaper; and (4) downsizing workers out of profitable corporations, often as a consequence of mergers and acquisitions.
• Bush was replaced by his exceedingly Lite Guv Rick Perry, who has really good hair. Governor Goodhair, or the Ken Doll (see, all Texans use nicknames—it's not that odd), is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But the chair of a major House committee says, "Goodhair is much more engaged as governor than Bush was." As the refrain of the country song goes, "O Please, Dear God, Not Another One."
• You must admit, this is the most curious political phenomenon of our lifetimes: After five years of investigation by Kenneth Starr, one solid year of media frenzy, and three months of impeachment proceedings, President Clinton's job approval rating is 72 percent, and Republicans now rank below Larry Flynt in public esteem. And their response to all this is: "More! More!" Kind of hard to know what to say to them.
• I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
You can (and should) revisit Molly's columns from 1996-2007
here. She enjoyed reading us, too---Daily Kos was on her short list of favorite blogs.
Cheers, Molly!
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, January 30, 2015
Note: There will be no C&J Monday. To suggest that it's because I plan to get schnockered while watching the Super Bowl is completely untrue. I plan to get schnockered during the Puppy Bowl. Back Tuesday with no memory of Sunday.
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8 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day holiday weekend:
113
Days 'til your chance to "go Galt" at the
Galt Winter Bird Festival in California:
8
Percent of Americans expecting Republicans to accomplish more now that they control both chambers of Congress:
28%
(Source: CNN/ORC via
The Week)
Increase in new home sales last month:
11.6%
(Source: Commerce Dept.)
Expected increase in corporate jet traffic in Phoenix because of the Super Bowl and the Phoenix Open golf tourney:
54% (520 more jets)
Year in which the current
Air Force One 747-200s will be replaced with two new 747-8s for President Clinton:
2017
Amount cab riders in South Korea will
now have to pay if they hurl chunks in the back during a ride:
$138
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Not new, but this pic of astronaut Leland Melvin with his pups Jake and Scout is making the rounds again, which is good because I missed it the first time: Best astronaut photo of all-time?
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Already stuffed and mounted in Jeb's den.
JEERS to packing away all my Mitt Romney jokes. No chocolate goodies from 7-11. No binders full of women. No 47% tape. No painful warbling or ten-thousand-dollar bets. Nope.
Mitt Romney is officially an ex-considering-a-third-run candidate. He's out. Well, at least that's one drone that won't be crashing into the White House.
P.S. Leave it to John Dingell to help slam the door on Romney's ass on the way out:
JEERS to Hothead McNastybritches. Senator John McCain, apparently thinking he was in the cantina scene from Star Wars, shouted at some Code Pink protesters yesterday: "Get out of here, you lowlife scum!" Less publicized are the words he shouted immediately after: "Get back in here, Senator Cruz."
CHEERS to doing the right thing. The Supreme Court told Oklahoma to stop giving lethal injections because they're freaking idiots who can't seem to do anything right:
The move was widely expected after the Justices agreed last week to hear the inmates' legal challenge that the drug, midazolam, causes intense suffering and thus violates the constitutional protection against cruel and unusual punishment. Lawyers for the petitioners pointed to Oklahoma's botched execution last year of Clayton Lockett as proof the drug should not be administered.
Oklahoma says they're working on a new method of killing death row inmates. So far they have "force Obamacare down their throats" and "flying lessons with Senator James Inhofe."
CHEERS to "32." Happy birthday to Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 133 years old today. Says William Ridings and Stuart McIver in their book Rating the Presidents (where FDR sits at #2, just below Lincoln):
Frankie in da house!!!
Roosevelt is praised most often for his role in preserving the American capitalist system at a time when many countries were opting for fascism. Given the dire crises he was forced to confront, perhaps the highest praise from the poll is "the right man in the right place at the right time." [...] Others praise him for stopping Hitler---and shudder to think what might have been if a less-effective president had been at the helm in those dangerous days.
The lunatics on the right try mightily to rewrite history by insisting that the New Deal was a failure...never mind that laws enacted in the 1930s helped prevent our 2008 Great Recession from turning into an all-out depression. Pay
your respects here. And never forget that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Which, now that I think of it, kinda sucks if your last name happens to be Fear.
P.S. It's also Dick Cheney's birthday. He turns 666. Again.
CHEERS to an 11 on the scale of human progress. Sorry to report that Charles Townes, the guy who invented the laser, has died at 99:
Thank you, sir, from
the bottom of my CD
and DVD collections.
Townes, a native of South Carolina, recalled that the idea for how to create a pure beam of short-wavelength, high-frequency light first dawned on him as he sat on a Washington DC park bench among blooming azaleas in the spring of 1951. The revelation led Townes and his students to build a device in 1954 that they dubbed a maser, for microwave amplification by stimulated emission of radiation.
Four years later he and a brother-in-law, Arthur Schawlow, conceived of a variation on that invention to amplify a beam of optical light, instead of microwave energy, and Bell Laboratories patented the new idea as a laser.
He leaves behind family, friends, scientific colleagues, and a lot of very sad James Bond villains.
CHEERS to Democrats and their wacky bizarre concept of safety nets. Eighty years ago tomorrow, the first Social Security chec (#00-000-001) was issued to Ida May Fuller---a Vermonter and childhood classmate of Calvin Coolidge---for $22.54. Or, as the Republican leadership calls it, "$22.54 too much, ya moocher."
Castro v. Maher
CHEERS to home vegetation. In addition to the Concussion Bowl (more on that below) and the
puppy bowl, here's some stuff on TV this weekend. Mel Brooks is the headline guest on HBO's
Real Time, plus Bill Maher kibitzes with Laura Poitras, Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-TX), Katty Kay and Monica Mehta. Brooks is hosting his own one-genius show
tomorrow night at 9 on HBO. New DVD releases include Brad Pitt's tank movie
Fury and the Robert Duvall-Robert Downey Jr. courtroom weepie
The Judge. NBA action
is here and the NHL schedule
is here. J.K. Simmons (Oscar nominated shoo-in for
Whiplash) hosts SNL. On
Downton Abbey, a misplaced salad fork distracts Britain long enough to allow Hitler to annex the Sudetenland.
And here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) officially announces he is withdrawing from the race to be Mitt Romney's 2016 running mate and that's final; former Defense Sec. Robert Gates; some NFL dudes; roundtable with Savannah Guthrie, Jim Cramer, Mark "Drudge Rules My World" Halperin and Kathleen Parker.
Lindsey Graham bats his eyes at America
Sunday. It's as creepy as it sounds.
This Week: Governor and walking embodiment of a whiter shade of pale, Scott Walker (R-WI); roundtable with Matt Dowd, LZ Granderson, Gwen Ifill and Rich Lowry.
Face the Nation: Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) continues his quest to unravel the subtle and mysterious differences between gay marriage and polygamy as Senator Dick Durbin (D-Il) does Sudoku; former Secretary of State James Baker; NFL blah-blah; roundtable with Peggy Noonan, Mark Leibovich, John Dickerson, Stephanie Cutter and Phil Musser.
CNN's State of the Union: Mike Huckabee continues his crusade against trash-talkin' dames and Beyonce's mesmerizing hips. Others TBA. (Oh, almost forgot: BUY HUCK'S BOOK!)
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Texas' right-wing extremist Governor Greg Abbott appears with right-wing gambling addict and all-around weirdo Bill Bennett, because Fox is all about being fair and balanced. Also: foreign policy blah-blah with Senator Kelly Ayotte (R-NH), retired Republican four-star General Jack Keane and middle-of-the-road diplomat Dennis Ross. Roundtable with Dana Perino, George Will, Julie Pace and Peter Baker. For those of you keeping score, that list includes six avowed Republicans and zero Democrats.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 30, 2005
CHEERS to election day. Under the constant threat of being blown up---and not even allowed to drive to their polling places---a higher percentage of Iraqis (60 percent by early estimates) turned out to vote than we did on November 2. But we have a good excuse...we're, like, busy and stuff.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Roman numeral abuse, Version XVIIIIIVIXIIIIIIIVI. Not many people know this, but I've predicted every single Super Bowl winner since I was knee-high to Howard Cosell. Last year, for example, I picked the New England Patriots over the other team by 13, and although I haven't checked yet, my gut tells me I was spot-on. Over the decades people have asked, re-asked, begged, pleaded and prayed that I would reveal the secret to my success…all to no avail. But since my heart grew three sizes today (memo to self: schedule appointment with cardiologist), I'm prepared to give you a little peak behind my faux-pigskin prognostication curtain. Here's how I do it:
As you can plainly see, my 2015 prediction is ridiculously easy: Patriots by 13. Oh, and in order to make life easier for the nation's water-management teams, everybody please remember to flush at exactly 7:29:59. Thanks for your cooperation and bwoo-ha-ha.
Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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