“Flower Dollars (TM)” or “that time when my daughter revealed to the world that she is going to be an even bigger smartass than me”
Posted at SexGenderBody tumblr.
My daughter is a frosh in high school. She got assigned to write an example of satire. As I was driving her to school, she offered to read it to me. She told me that she chose to make pay inequality the focus of a fictitious ad copy:
“Flower Dollars” by Ilayda Celik-Reese
Are the women at your work emotionally distraught? Are they verbally abusive? Do they continuously yell at you for no reasonable explanation? Do they get distracted by gossip? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are in desperate need of Flower Dollars™.
Flower Dollars are dollars made specially to pay women employees. Flower Dollars come in multiple colors, including baby pink, baby blue, and baby yellow. Flower Dollars are worth 77 cents in US dollars, but satisfy women’s absurd demand to be paid more money. Flower Dollars allow your company to give women equal pay without you having to pay more money.
Women absolutely love Flower Dollars. “They’re so colorful and fun to play with,” says Georgia Smith, a working girl from Toledo, Ohio. She continues, “It doesn’t even matter that they’re only 77 cents, because they’re meant for women like me. The effort men have made to make us feel equal is quite touching, really.” Georgia’s boss Ryan told us, “Ever since I started using Flower Dollars all the women have been happier and more productive. When we have a meeting, they no longer yell nonsense at me, they take notes and bring us coffee instead.”
Flower Dollars are the solution to all your female related issues at work. The aesthetically pleasing design of Flower Dollars distracts women from all their worries. Flower Dollars also inspire a sense of community in the workplace, because the women who are paid Flower Dollars release all their hostility. Flower Dollars are also useful for productivity. Once women see the magestic beauty of the dollar, they will immediately begin to increase their work load, so that they may earn more enchanting Flower Dollars.
If your female employees are becoming too much for you to handle, look into Flower Dollars and see if they are right for your company. Flower Dollars help you and your employees.
Flower Dollars, equal in theory. Sponsored by the people who brought you PMS.
I’ve never been so proud.
Afterward we talked about how the .77 cents to the dollar is the pay gap for white women as compared to white men and how for brown bodies the scale is even lower. We then talked about how the majority of unpaid labor on this planet is WOC and that this is part of the design of capitalism as it exists today - maybe only can exist.
[wow, the rec list! I'll show her. thank you so much]