From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
In Which I Agree with the GOP
Count me among those who don’t really give a crap whether or not ABC News prompter reader and "we'll have to leave it there" specialist George Stephanopoulos moderates a 2016 Republican debate in the wake of revelations having to do with a donation he made to the Clinton Global Foundation charity.
Really, I hate to agree with Team Crazy. But I say Li'l George should've been permanently barred from any debate stage after the ridiculousness he moderated with Charles Gibson in Philadelphia in April 2008. This exchange actually chewed up precious time:
"We got questions about war, recession,
poverty, global warming...so, yeah, let's
go with the question about flag pins."
Charles Gibson: Senator Obama, I want to do one more question, which goes to the basic issue of electability. And it is a question raised by a voter in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, a woman by the name of Nash McCabe. Take a look…
Video Clip of Nash McCabe, voter: Senator Obama, I have a question, and I want to know if you believe in the American flag. I am not questioning your patriotism, but all our servicemen, policemen and EMS wear the flag. I want to know why you don't.
Five months later, the Republican
shows why he's not electable.
Gibson: Just to add to that, I noticed you put one on yesterday. But you've talked about this before, but it comes up again and again when we talk to voters. And, as you may know, it is all over the Internet. And it's something of a theme that Senators Clinton and McCain's advisers agree could give you a major vulnerability if you're the candidate in November.
How do you convince Democrats that this would not be a vulnerability?
The flag pin question. George and Chuck went for the flag pin question. They should both be living out their remaining days on an ice floe.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Note: Today's commencement address, Honesty and Integrity: Your Road Map to Success, has been cancelled on account of the speaker began serving a ten-year prison sentence this morning for embezzlement. In his place will be a monkey playing the accordion.
---The Dean
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10 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til David Letterman's last show:
1
Days 'til the
Newport Beach Jazz Festival in California:
10
Rank of China as the largest source of new immigrants (147k in 2013) to the U.S., surpassing Mexico (125k):
#1
(Source: Census Bureau)
Percent chance Obama has failed to stem Chinese immigration by not building a great wall:
100%
(Source: Right-wing radio, no doubt)
Amount most state-funded home care workers get in Maine,
usually without benefits or reimbursement for mileage:
$9/hr.
(Source:
The Portland Press Herald)
Amount by which Mumbai drug company Kayem raised the price of sodium thiopental when it found out South Dakota planned to buy some for lethal injection:
900%
(Source: FiveThirtyEight)
Amount that a 91-year-old Canadian woman was fined because her downstairs neighbor complained her rocking chair was too loud:
$122
(Source:
The Week)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere
The real American patriot commenters at Hot Air sound off on Jeb Bush…
No lub for Jeb here.
Needing four tries (so far) over a week’s time to come up with a fuzzy answer makes Perry’s on the spot “Oops” moment pale in comparison. … Aw, let’s give poor Jeb some more time to mull it over.
---whatcat
Textbook handling of that [Iraq] response, if the textbook was “How To Be a Terrible Candidate That Nobody Will Vote For”.
---Redstone
It sounds like Jeb has been taking flip-flop lessons from Marco and Rand.
---Pork-Chop
All together now: 1…2…3…
Heh.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: I think this is why dogs are plotting to kill us all. (With help from the cats, of course.)
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CHEERS to subtle hints. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg officiated at a same-sex wedding over the weekend, and proved once again that she is the Notorious RBG:
Still the best Halloween costume of 2014.
the most glittering moment for the crowd came during the ceremony. With a sly look and special emphasis on the word “Constitution,” Justice Ginsburg said that she was pronouncing the two men married by the powers vested in her by the Constitution of the United States.
No one was sure if she was emphasizing her own beliefs or giving a hint to the outcome of the case the Supreme Court is considering whether to decide if same-sex marriage is constitutional.
Reading a Supreme Court justice's "secret code" is tricky business and should be left to the professionals. Or to me. My internal decoder tells me she's really saying, "We're gonna rule six to three in favor of same-sex marriage. Roberts came along for the ride, Scalia's gonna be sobbing in his cannolis for a week and Thomas is gonna throw out one of his lesbian pornos in protest." Which, coincidentally, is code in Germany for "I would like a wienerschnitzel and a beer for my schnauzer."
P.S. Jeb Bush said over the weekend that same-sex couples shouldn't be able to get married because it's dangerous to tamper with such a sacred and noble tradition that goes back centuries. Speaking of which, on this date in 1536, Henry VIII sacredly and nobly beheaded one of his wives. Gonna be a bit awkward around Jeb's dinner table tonight.
Another fine campaign slogan!
CHEERS to a hawk coming home to roost. Hey! Who's ready for Secretary of Defense John McCain and National Security Adviser Joe Lieberman? It's a possibility now that U.S. Senator and Southern Colonel Lindsey Graham---John and Joe's BFF---says he plans to announce his presidential run while sipping lemonade and fanning himself under his favorite magnolia tree in Bloodhound Hollow, South Carolina on June 1. His reason for wanting to set up a bachelor pad (complete with four-poster and satin canopy) at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? According to the media, Graham says he's running because
"The world is falling apart." In light of what he would actually do as president, his official campaign slogan will add the words: "too slowly."
CHEERS to the courage not to fight. On May 19, 1774, the first Shakers sailed to America from England. During the Revolution they refused to fight and were jailed, making them our first conscientious objectors. And you thought they just made nifty furniture.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Columnist E.J. Dionne at The Washington Post asks: Am I am the only person outside the Bush family who has a smidgen of empathy for Jeb Bush’s roller-coaster ride in trying to answer a straightforward question: Was going to war in Iraq the right thing to do?
Yes.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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CHEERS to amazing discoveries. No matter how hard the parasitic human race tries to kill it, nature keeps on surprising us:
The fish that warms the
cockles of its own heart.
In a discovery that defies conventional biology, a big fish that lives deep in the Pacific Ocean has been found to be warm blooded, like humans, other mammals and birds.
Researchers from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) determined that unlike other fish, opah generate heat as they swim and distribute the warmth throughout their entire disc-shaped bodies by special blood vessels. … Though some species of fish can temporarily warm their swim muscles, including tuna and some sharks, "whole-body endothermy" has distinguished mammals and birds from fish and reptiles, which draw heat from their environments.
Oh, that fish is totally not cool. Which makes it really, really
cool!
JEERS to the Boy Wonder's bubbleheaded blunder. On May 19, 1992, Vice President Dan Quayle (another fine example of rock-solid Bush family decision making) cited Murphy Brown as a poor example of family values. Said Ken Tucker back then in Entertainment Weekly:
The dork on the right lost that battle.
Dan Quayle's spleen venting about the way Murphy Brown subverts family values is only the most direct expression to date of a notion that has gained in intensity over the past decade---that TV has some sort of obligation to present only ''positive'' examples of family life, that any portrayal of something other than the happy nuclear clan is detrimental to our American way of life.
But TV isn't an arm of social policy or government propaganda; it has no more responsibility to be upbeat and positive than do, say, poetry or the theater. ... Someone pour Quayle a glass of cold milk, please.
Isn't it nice to know that the Republican party has come so far in its thinking over the last two decades? (You may commence smirking at will.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 19, 2005
CHEERS to dissecting the madness. In the wake of the Newsweek hubbub, a gaggle of congresspeople will host a media bias forum with panelists Al Franken, David Brock and others. Says a House staffer: "Specifically, there's been a great deal of disappointment of the media's coverage of the Iraq war and the Downing Street memo and great concern about the White House's efforts to intimidate media outlets such as they've done in the Newsweek matter." Will the forum do any good? I'm sure the corporate media will tell us.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to #44 in 140 or less. That boom you heard yesterday was President Obama breaking the world record for fastest twitter account to rack up one million followers---4.5 hours. (Surprisingly, the previous record was held by Robert Downey, Jr.) For posterity, here it is:
Having my finger on the pulse of the tweeting public, I offered my two cents:
For pure snark value, Bill Clinton's response won the internet yesterday:
But Obama got the last word:
So that was fun. And now we return you to our regularly-scheduled gnashing of teeth over the TPP. Seriously, Obama? Really??!!! Impeach!!!
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Just in time for summer, Oreo announced a new limited flavor that is probably the most perfectly obvious flavor yet. The Cheers and Jeers Kiddie Pool Oreo cookie will hit shelves on May 22nd.
---Entertainment Tonight
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