Also, new glasses.
Good news, America. Former Texas Governor Rick Perry
feels your pain.
To the one in five children in families on food stamps, to the one in seven Americans living in poverty, to the one in ten workers who are unemployed, under-employed or given up hope of finding a job: I hear you, you are not forgotten. I am running to be your president. [...]
The American People see a rigged game, where insiders get rich, and the middle class pays the tab. [...] Capitalism is not corporatism. It is not a guarantee of reward without risk. It is not about Wall Street at the expense of Main Street.
That's right—Rick Perry is taking it to Wall Street. No more governing for the rich, or coddling financial companies at the expense of the rest of America.
And the even better news? Fixing all this conveniently requires the exact same solutions Rick Perry and every other Republican in the country has been pushing for decades. We need to cut corporate tax rates!
We have the highest corporate tax rate in the western world. It is time to reduce the rate, bring jobs home and lift wages for working families.
We need to do away with all these new regulations on the hardworking banking industry!
For small businesses on Main Street struggling to just get by, smothered by regulations, targeted by Dodd-Frank: I hear you, you’re not forgotten. Your time is coming.
Head below the fold for more gems from Rick Perry.
We need to get rid of all these regulations that punish Texas factories by asking them to not explode quite so often! And did I mention Dodd-Frank? And Obamacare, the one in five children in families on food stamps that Rick Perry represents are really sore about Obamacare!
On my first day in office, I will issue an immediate freeze on all pending regulations from the Obama administration. That same day, I will send to Congress a comprehensive reform and rollback of job-killing mandates created by Obamacare, Dodd-Frank and other Obama-era policies.
And what the hell, that pipeline that everyone's been going on about! Families on food stamps need that pipeline! And to be able to export American oil oversees!
On day one, I will also sign an executive order approving the construction of the Keystone Pipeline. [...] On day one, I will sign an executive order authorizing the export of American natural gas and oil, freeing our European allies from dependence on Russia’s energy supplies.
And we need to deploy the National Guard to the border, and we need to reject all possible Iran agreements, and more than anything the good Americans who are unemployed, or living in poverty, or on food stamps need to know that Rick Perry's steadfast commitment to getting rid of Obamacare, Wall Street regulations, corporate taxes and regulations about what their would-be employers can or can't do to them will, at long last, heal America.
Now there's a different kind of Republican. Oh, and he's got glasses now.