Today's contestant, appearing on Fox News' 'Special Report'
Hi there, everybody, and welcome back. Hunter here, and it's time for another round of our popular media-watching game Are You Dumber Than Steve Doocy, the game that looks at claims made by television pundits to determine whether or not they are dumber than the infamously dumb Fox & Friends talking potato sack Steve Doocy. Hunter, who's our contestant this time around?
Hi Hunter, good to be back. This time it's Fox News correspondent Peter Doocy.
Oh, I like the sound of that.
Indeed, he's young but a real up-and-comer. Let's take a look at Peter's contribution, as he reported on Fox News' straight news program Special Report. Hunter, can you roll that tape?
DOOCY: I've searched the Planned Parenthood website for fetal baby part prices but can't find them. Because until these videos came out, these transactions had been Planned Parenthood's well-kept secret.
Wow. That is an impressive bit of work. We have a competition on our hands tonight, that's for sure.
Right, and let's break that down. What Fox News mouth-haver Peter Doocy is saying here is that he went to look for "fetal baby parts" for sale on the Planned Parenthood website. And when he couldn't find them, he concluded it was because Planned Parenthood had "fetal baby parts" sales so secret that they didn't even put them on their website.
Wow. That's ... wow. As far as theories go, that may be right up there with the famous 'Abortionplex' conspiracy. By that logic, Planned Parenthood is growing fetal Hitler clones in jars in the back room and the reason they don't have pictures of tiny Hitler fetuses on their website is because they want to keep it hush-hush.
It really is. Or to put another spin on it, it'd be like saying the Hindenburg disaster happened because invisible flying space penguins flew into it just as it was trying to land. How do we know those penguins were invisible? Because we can't see them, of course. That's the thing that proves it.
All right, this has been fun, but we've got to get to the judging here. Based on this clip, would we say that Peter here is or is not dumber than Steve Doocy?
It's going to be a tough call, Hunter. Peter Doocy has taken what by all accounts is a pretty unremarkable fact—that Planned Parenthood may sometimes donate fetal tissue to medical researchers if a woman says she'd like to do that—and invented this idea of a so-secret-its-not-on-the-website baby parts swap meet.
He's not alone in that, though. We've got actual sitting congressmen giving the same speech.
True, but what Peter brings to the table is this notion that he actually looked for his imagined baby parts store on the site, and when he couldn't find it concluded that it must be because it was just that secret.
That is dumb. I won't lie, that is pretty dumb.
We call it being aggressively dumb, Hunter. It's also called spitefully stupid or malevolently moronic. I myself prefer the term dumb as a fencepost floating in a lake of unflavored pudding, or stupider than a hippo on a—
Right, I get the point. But as to the verdict. Dumber than Steve Doocy? Or not as dumb?
This one has been a tough call, Hunter, but in the end I think we have to come to the same conclusion that we always come to. Since we've never found any lower bound on how willingly dumb Steve Doocy can be, there's just no definitive way to claim that there's another human being alive who could be that stupid.
Meaning?
Meaning we're going to call this Possibly As Dumb as Steve Doocy. Until we find something so stupid that we can't imagine even Steve Doocy saying it, that's the lowest possible score we can credibly give. Or highest? One of the two.
Thanks Hunter, good to talk to you again. And we'll see you next time, when we again ask the question all of America wants answered: Is there anybody in the news today Dumber Than Steve Doocy?
Blast from the Past. At Daily Kos on this date in 2010—Democrats still writing sternly worded letters:
Yeah, this will work:
A group of 21 liberal House Democrats on Friday warned the Obama administration that new limits on abortion coverage in high-risk pools will put vulnerable women in jeopardy of losing needed care.
In a letter to Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, the lawmakers argue the agency should be taking steps “to expand women’s access to care, and not narrow the scope of care available.”
|
Last year, anti-choice Democrats in Congress ran roughshod over the president, their fellow Democrats, and American women to extort further restrictions on women's reproductive rights, and so-called pro-choice Democrats didn't do much to stop it.
So is anyone really surprised that the Obama administration has now gone out of its way to impose even further restrictions not required by the health care law or the president's Executive Order, just because Republicans are still whining and making shit up?
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