Can it be true? Is Massachusetts State Senator Ryan Fattmen (Webster-Teabagger) really being paid $15,000 a year to masturbate? Based on recent reporting by The Boston Globe, that appears to be the case.
Join me over the swirly orange cloud for the details.
Per The Boston Globe:
When he is back home in the heart of the Tea Party-friendly Blackstone Valley, Ryan Fattman gains political traction by sneering at the pension perks and travel allowances that Massachusetts lawmakers enjoy. That anti-Beacon Hill stance has helped him win elections — a House race in 2010 and a Senate race last year.
The story goes on to tell how Ryan, and the other five Republicans in the MA State Senate have all taken leadership positions, which entitles them to collect an additional $15,000 to $22,500 of taxpayer funds per year for little or no work.
And Ryan? What does he do to "earn" his $15,000 of taxpayer money? Why, he is the Assistant Minority Whip. That means he helps the Actual Minority Whip count votes of the other four Republican Senators. That right, there are only six Republican Senators.
But there is no Republican rank and file in the Senate — thus, there are no back-benchers to whip into line.
Asked the job of the Assistant Whip entails, Minority Whip Robert Hedlund had this to say:
“He can whip himself,’’ quipped Hedlund.
Which made me think back to
Whip it, the song by
Devo. According to
Wikipedia
...many people took the lyrics at face value, interpreting the song as a paean to masturbation....
Ergo, based on the statement by Senator Hedlund, Ryan Fattman is being paid $15,000 a year to masturbate. To be fair, I bet he is really good at it. He looks like a total wanker.