I was trying to reply to this post by Countrycat but it seems the orange site is having hiccups (or my work site is blocking them) so I couldn't get back to it. Instead I thought I'd post my comment below the orange squiggly - I hope it helps.
My mother was born in the 1940s and grew up in Mississippi to a middle class family whose only real distinction was that they were educated and both parents worked (for the day, a very progressive thing).
Somewhere along the line, she recognized racism.
I don’t know how it happened, whether she noticed that her family was a little more tolerant than her neighbors or that she couldn’t stomach the overt hatred and ignorance that goes along with it, but sometime before I was born, she understood what racism was.
She also understood it was a part of her. She understood she was racist too. It was the way she was raised, and though she wasn’t as racist as her neighbors, or her parents, she understood that the way she looked at black and brown people wasn’t right. She knew also that no matter how much she tried to be politically correct, racism was too ingrained in her being to ever be completely removed.
So, while she knew she would always be racist, even though she tried very hard never to show it, she could raise her children so that they would be less racist than she was. She did it too, pretty well, I think. I don’t think I ever realized my mother was prejudiced until I was in college, she hid it that well. I am very grateful for and applaud her efforts. She managed to raise children who are much less racist than she is, and FAR less than the rest of her family. But, even so, I don’t know if I can say I am completely colorblind? I don’t think anyone raised by a racist can ever be completely free of that taint. Even I catch myself every once in a while – like when I realize that the white cop probably won’t kill me if I get stopped for a traffic violation.
Like my mother before me, I am trying to raise kids who are even less racist than I am. Luckily, my kids are growing up in a time when people from every walk of life, gender identity, sexual preference and race can communicate with each other easily. Because they actually know all kinds of people, kids today are less racist than any generation before them, so my kids have an even better shot at being colorblind than I did.
So, that’s what my mom taught me. To end racism, don’t pass it on. Hate is a learned behavior, all you have to do is not teach it to your kids and someday, maybe, there won’t be any left. I hope I live long enough to see that day.