From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Okay. Now it's official
Seeing Freedom to Marry's graphic celebrating the Supreme Court decision granting marriage rights to same-sex couples in all 50 states was creative (and how sweet that Texas is holding up all the other states on its burly shoulders):
Seeing the White House lit up in LGBT pride colors was inspiring:
But with balky bureaucratic buttheads in some states continuing to defy the June 26
Obergefell v. Hodges decision, marriage equality was still, in a few states, elusive. And so we waited for the one and only sign that matters. Yes,
only when the biblical prophesy came to pass---you know, the one stating that God would open up the Supreme Laptop and turn the Wikipedia marriage map blue in all 50 states---would it be official.
The prophesy hath cometh to pass. As of yesterday, it's official:
Can I get an Amen?
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Note: Please don’t read today's note. Its ego is big enough already.
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10 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Major League All-Star Game:
6
Days 'til the
tall ships come to Portland, Maine:
10
Amount that six Occupy Wall Street protesters will get from New York City for taking pepper spray to the face without cause:
$332,500
Number of viewers who tuned in to watch the Women's World Cup soccer final Sunday:
25.4 million
Year that Chicago's first trading pits were built, and which ceased functioning Monday as computer trading made them obsolete:
1870
Number of intercontinental ballistic missiles Vladimir Putin wants to add to his arsenal this year:
40
(Source:
Rolling Stone)
Percent chance there's still a 12-foot-high pile of snow in Boston from last winter:
100%
(Source:
The New York Times)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 181 (including 4 gogs and 1 urgent letter to the editor in The Lima News). Soul Protection Factor 30 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: C&J's lab mix Haley is a master at game #1.
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CHEERS to gathering the forces. [Ah-oooohgah!!!] Skybird, this is Dropking with a red dash alpha message in two parts. Break. Break. Stand by to verify: Romeo. Oscar. November. Charlie. Tango. Tango. Lima. Alpha. Authentication: two, two; zero, zero; four, zero; Delta, Lima. Authentication complete! Everyone except Texans head down into the "Blockquote Of Silence" for the latest update on Operation Jade Helm 15:
Okay. The president's invasion of Texas begins exactly one week from today. That doesn't give us much time, so listen up: Supreme Field Marshal Viceroy Obama is switching everything around. Instead of coming in by land, we're coming by sea. Instead of being led by the gay-marrieds, it'll now be led by armadillos with freakin' lasers. If we mop this up by August, everyone gets a bonus as soon as Governor Abbott signs the surrender document on a battleship in Austin. Good luck. Now let's set our watches: it's exactly...eight minutes 'til Judge Judy. Okay, everybody out of the "Blockquote of Silence" and remember: not a word to the Texans!
Oh look! It's almost time for
Judge Judy. No time to chat! Ta ta! (Heh heh.)
JEERS to the sandy gears in the rebel brain. As South Carolina's legislature fast-tracks legislation to tear down the Confederate flag on the State House grounds (Put up, we remind you, in 1961 as a formal "FU" to desegregation), an opposition group is confirming the wisdom of the move. Here's the text of their latest robocall urging residents to fight back:
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"Don't think the PC haters will stop if Governor Haley gets her way and the Confederate memorial is taken down and hidden away in a museum. Just like ISIS, Obama’s haters want our monuments down, graves dug up and schools, roads, towns and counties renamed. They’ve even taken Dukes of Hazzard off TV. Whats’s next? This attack on our values is sick and un-American and it has to stop right here and right now in South Carolina. Two-thirds of both houses are needed to take the flag down, and they're struggling for the votes. One of those on the fence is Representative [name] and he needs to hear from you now. Leave our flag alone, and not stand with leftist fanatics who want to destroy the south we love. Stand up, call now, before it's too late. Paid for by the Conservative Response Team."
I like how they undermine their own argument: these yahoos with the ancestors who fought to break away from the American government now think that taking down their battle flag is "un-American." Somehow I don't think anyone will be running into anyone from the Conservative Response Team at the next MENSA meeting.
CHEERS to a pleasant jaunt to the Great White North. On July 8, 1958, President Eisenhower began a trip to Canada, where he spent some face time cavorting with Prime Minister John Diefenbaker and his liberal socialist death-panel-loving soulmates in Parliament. I could watch old newsreels like this all freakin' day long…
By the way, it was during this summit that Ike uttered his most famous words: "What does a five-star general have to do to get a Molson around here, launch an invasion?" Fortunately Diefenbaker kept a second pair of underpants in the trunk of his car.
JEERS to much ado about nothing. A report of gunfire yesterday at Walter Reed Medical Center turnout out to be false, but that didn’t stop the media from doing what they do worst:
"And its claws were like
nothing I've ever seen!"
Anchor: Our round-the-clock team coverage of nothing that happened at Walter Reed continues. Chet, what's not happening there now?
Reporter: Well, Susan, it's pretty intense down here. I can't remember the last time nothing like this ever happened. I'm with a witness who saw nothing happen. Sir, can you tell us exactly what you didn't see?
Witness: Yes. I didn't see nothin'.
Reporter: So you actually saw nothing happen?
Witness: Yes. And it was like nothing I hadn't see before."
Reporter: There you have it, Susan. We'll remain here throughout the day and try to piece together exactly what didn’t happen, and bring you live updates and shocking developments. This is Chet reporting from the scene of nothing for Action News.
Anchor: Thanks, Chet. Stay safe---you never now when nothing might happen again. We'll check back later."
Disclaimer: The above was a reenactment. These days it's hard to tell.
JEERS to unfortunate 'Play' button placement:
Oh my. That's unfortunate.
CHEERS to six degrees of That Guy. Check this out: Footloose starred Kevin Bacon; Kevin Bacon starred in JFK; JFK was released the same year as Pyrates starring Kevin Bacon; Pyrates was followed by A Few Good Men which starred Kevin Bacon; and Kevin Bacon guest-starred in the "Bacon and Eggs" episode of Will & Grace in which he parodied his dance moves from... Footloose starring Kevin Bacon, who turns 57 today. [Drops mic]
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 8, 2005
CHEERS to steely resolve. While yesterday's terror attack in London was awful stuff, the resilient British have been through far worse and are calmly picking up the pieces, tracking down the terrorist thugs, and getting back into the routine. But FYI: due to yesterday's disruption, we regretfully announce that tea will be served two minutes late today.
JEERS to Brit Hume of Fox News. What a prick and a half:
"My first thought when I heard...just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures [prices] this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, `Hmmm, time to buy.'"
Hmmm...time to hurl.
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And just one more…
CHEERS or
JEERS to conflicting reports. Only 163 days until
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Endorses Bernie Sanders arrives in theatres, and rabid fans like me are crossing our fingers and our light sabers for new footage this week at the Comic Con convention in San Diego. Will our new hopes be fulfilled, or will the empire strike back and crush them? The International Business Times
says:
Star Wars 7 promises a "special look" of the Force Awakens at the San Diego Comic-Con 2015 and fans suspect that Disney may release another teaser of the movie offering a glimpse at Luke Skywalker. As of now, fans have only heard Skywalker in a teaser, while he was talking about the "strong Force" with his family.
But Entertainment Weekly
says:
the presentation this Friday afternoon will not include a trailer or any new clips of the movie. The next trailer will be coming in the fall, according to sources with knowledge of the project. But don’t go hurling your cup of blue milk at the wall just yet. There will be other surprises.
So what to think? Yoda will know! Yeah, let's ask Yoda:
Not helpful.
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Adidas Has Produced A Pair of Shoes Made From Junk Dumped In The Cheers and Jeers Kiddie Pool
---The Standard Daily
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