From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Coming Soon!
This is shaping up to be a helluva fall at the movies, and I'm not even talking about the James Bond franchise reviving SPECTRE or the Star Wars franchise reviving Luke, Leia and Han. There are a bunch of flickers coming out based on historical figures or events, and I'm guessing several will be duking it out at Oscar time. Here's a quick rundown:
Black Mass Johnny Depp as Boston gangster and FBI informant (now behind bars) Whitey Bulger looks creepy as hell. [Official site]
Stonewall Roland Emmerich's take on the famous riots at New York's Stonewall Inn that were a pivotal moment in the LGBT rights movement. [Trailer]
"Trumbo" tackles the black-
lists of the 40s and 50s.
Suffragette Meryl Streep, Carey Mulligan and Helena Bonham Carter star as heroes of the feminist movement in England. [Official site]
Steve Jobs Critics and audiences were cool to the previous biopic starring Ashton Kutcher as the Apple co-founder. This version, directed by Danny Boyle from a script by Aaron Sorkin and starring Michael Fassbender, looks a lot more promising. [Official site]
Bridge of Spies Spielberg. Hanks. Cold-war thriller. 'Nuff said. [Official site]
Spotlight The Catholic church is not looking forward to this release. Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo, John Slattery, Rachel McAdams and Liev Schreiber play the Boston Globe reporters who broke the pedophile-priest scandal. [Official site]
Trumbo As further proof that Bryan Cranston can do no wrong on-screen, here he tackles blacklisted Oscar-winning screenwriter Dalton Trumbo (Spartacus, Roman Holiday) as he fights the Hollywood blacklists of the 1940s and 1950s. I guarantee he's got an Oscar nomination in the bag. With Helen Mirren, John Goodman and Louis C.K. [Official site]
Snowden Oliver Stone directs Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the whistleblower. Well, won’t that be interesting. [Official site]
Where to Invade Next Michael Moore is back! His latest documentary tackles the military-industrial complex and our political machine's over-eagerness to keep it well fed. [No official site or trailer yet, but here's a six-minute video of Michael Moore setting up the premise.]
Which one are you most jazzed about? I'll hold your popcorn while you vote.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Note: After consulting with our internal pollsters, C&J has decided not to declare war on Spain. Missed the window of opportunity by this much.
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9 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Stephen Colbert starts hosting
Late Show:
14
Days 'til Maine's
Blue Hill Fair:
9
Number of food items recalled by companies in the first half of 2015:
3.7 million
Number of food recalls in all of 2014:
5 million
(Source: Bloomberg News)
Percent of boomers, GenXers and Millennials, respectively, who have tattoos:
15%, 30%, 40%
(Source:
Parade)
Length of time a rat can tread water:
3 days
Length of time a rat can hold its breath under water:
3 minutes
(Source: creepy
National Geographic video on how easily a rat can wriggle up into your terlet.)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
The cool-headed lads and lasses at World Net Daily react to the stock market plunge…
We're Neurologically Damaged.
This may be it. Prepare as best you can...get cash out of the bank in increments so as not to begin a panic. Buy extra food and water.
---thurmon
Thanks for destroying our currency, O-BOMB-us by spending us into
oblivion.
---Jimmychonga
Get ready for ZERO ASSETS if Wall Street goes down! Expect ZERO JOBS if cities start burning! MONEY will be worthless if banks lock doors! Evil thieves would be murdering for GOLD AND SILVER and people would be begging, asking GOD to keep them alive!
---James Reesor
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: A pretty typical wiggly, squirmy, happy puppy.
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Thanks a LOT, Planned parenthood!
JEERS to jitters. Oh, hey, that was quite a rolley coaster ride yesterday, huh? The Dow, NASDAQ and S&P 500 each lost roughly four percent of their value, which according to my abacus translates into 50 holyfucktillion dollars. The Associated Press points to
several factors that they believe are contributing to the bearish mood, including China's economy, low oil prices and fears that the Fed will raise interest rates soon. Pat Robertson, of course, knows the
real reason the markets are tanking:
abortion. I swear, you could set your watch by this guy.
JEERS to whiplash. To show how Donald Trump has put his rivals into a hilarious tug-of-war between moderates and crazies, here's a timeline of Wisconsin Governor and presidential candidate Scott Walker's position on birthright citizenship, which Trump wants to dispose of:
"Tomorrow my position will
be waaaaay over there."
Before last Monday: It's fine with me!
Last Monday: Ban it! No more anchor babies!
Later last Monday: Keep it…kinda sorta [wink wink]
Last Tuesday: Yes, definitely keep it!
Last Friday: Keep it…don't keep it…whatever.
Last Sunday Definitely keep it!
One hour ago: Am I still losing to Trump? Then ditch the sucker!
5 minutes ago: Um…can I use my "phone a friend" lifeline? I'd like to call David Koch.
Just what we need in a president: decisiveness.
CHEERS to throwing the bums out. Nine weeks after D-Day, on Aug. 25, 1944, Paris was liberated by the Allies during World War II. However, in his famous liberation speech Charles de Gaulle barely mentioned America or its other allies. Gee, thanks a lot. (But please don’t remind the Republicans in Congress or they'll change the cafeteria menu back to freedom fries.)
CHEERS to judicial jiu-jitsu. The Obama administration figured out how to do an end-run around the Supreme Court's Hobby Lobby ruling so that women can get easy access to contraception even if they work for companies that demand "religious freedom" exemptions. On Friday the Sixth Citcuit Court of Appeals looked at it and said it was okely-dokely:
Not so much anymore. Thanks, Obama!
In Hobby Lobby, the Supreme Court ruled that the government can’t require religious non-profits and closely-held corporations to provide health insurance plans that cover certain kinds of contraception if those entities have sincerely held religious beliefs banning the use of such contraception. In response, the Department of Health and Human Services announced that organizations claiming such beliefs would need to notify the government to officially declare their belief, at which point HHS would direct the relevant insurance company to provide the contraception coverage separately. As contraception is cost-neutral---pregnancy is way more expensive than IUDs---the separate coverage comes at no cost.
As the court held, religious organizations are required to do nothing more than say to the government, “I don’t support contraceptive coverage and I’m not going to pay for it. You and my insurer figure out what to do from here.” That isn’t an undue burden on religious belief; that’s an affirmation of it.
Respecting freedom of religion and freedom
from religion with equal dexterity? Lemme guess---the president's a Democrat.
JEERS to bizarro road trips. You thought the terrorist on that French train was a whackjob? Get a load of this: two knuckleheads in Iowa decided it would be a swell idea to load up the jalopy and sputter halfway across the country on a mission to the Pokemon World Championships in Boston. But they got stopped before they reached their destination and this is what Boston police found in their car:
This raises some serious questions. Like, why were they packing so much firepower---or
any firepower at all? And, what were they planning to do? And, there's a World Championship of
Pokemon???
CHEERS to beautifully warped minds. Happy birthday to Director Tim Burton, who turns a sprightly 57 today. Ed Wood and Beetlejuice remain two of our all-time favorites, but all of his flicks are feats of imagination that boggle the Billy mind. (Although his last one, Big Eyes, didn't quite gel, though---an unexpected misfire.) But if I were stranded on the proverbial desert island and could only have one Burton DVD, it'd be no contest---Mars Attacks!
And this just in: 27 years after they made the original, apparently the gang's getting back together for a sequel to Beetlejuice. But only if we all say it out loud three times.
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 25, 2005
JEERS to getting it wrong...again. So, to recap: Axis-of-Evil member Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction even though we swore they did. Now it turns out that Axis-of-Evil member Iran doesn't have bomb-grade uranium, either, even though we swore they did. Coming soon: satellite photos reveal Axis-of-Evil member North Korea is really just a large petting zoo.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the "Lion of the Senate." As time goes on, fewer and fewer of us 'Muricans will remember that Ted Kennedy owned that title for much of his 47-year career there. So I'll keep bringing it up, especially on his birthday and today's date---the six-year anniversary of his passing from brain cancer at 77. With a little assist from President Obama, who said at Ted's funeral:
"The world will long remember their son Edward as the heir to a weighty legacy; a champion for those who had none; the soul of the Democratic Party; and the lion of the United States Senate---a man who graces nearly 1,000 laws, and who penned more than 300 laws himself."
To mark the occasion, a couple snips of vintage Ted:
1932-2009
(Not long enough.)
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On the Iraq war: "There was no imminent threat. This was made up in Texas, announced in January to the Republican leadership that war was going to take place and was going to be good politically. This whole thing was a fraud."
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"This is the cause of my life---new hope that we will break the old gridlock and guarantee that every American---North, South, East, West, young, old---will have decent, quality health care as a fundamental right and not a privilege."
Obamacare is now in full effect, and I imagine that
card-carrying 5-digit UID Kossack Ted would be ecstatic over the numbers, but also impatient to improve it. For the first 45 years of my life Ted Kennedy was always in Washington, "voice bellowing through the Senate chamber, face reddened, fist pounding the podium, a veritable force of nature" (Obama's words again). He was both a battering ram and a master of jiu jitsu. (Watch him tear into Donald Rumsfeld
here.) And also a guy you'd never turn down having a beer with. Even though I'm not from Massachusetts, he still felt like "my" senator. His "vim ahnd vigah" are sorely missed. Cheers, Ted. And say hi to your brothers---they were pretty good, too.
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"With Trump becoming very serious candidate, it's time for Bill in Portland Maine to step into the ring. I did not say I would vote for him! Just a friend I admire."
---Rupert Murdoch
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