I don't know about you, fellow Kossacks, but I'm getting awfully sick and tired of being mad. I'm sick of feeling like most of the planet has gone batsh-t insane. Every morning I get up, feed the dog, check my messages, and head upstairs where my father is listening to NPR on the radio. This used to be a pleasant ritual, but over the past few weeks I've had to go up there with my headphones on and my iPod blaring, because hearing the news only makes me mad.
Even NPR, it seems, is jumping on the Trump bandwagon, because Trump means ratings. I've heard his name something like eight out of the past ten mornings, always connected to phrases like "controversial statements". Bullsh-t they're controversial statements, they're xenophobic, racist, sexist garbage and they're only getting worse now that the others in the Parade of Fools are busily trying to one-up each other for the title of Most Horrible Person on Earth.
How is this happening? Why do we let them get away with it? Is there no one to yell, "Stop this madness"? It got to be too much even for poor Jon Stewart, and if even he can't stand it anymore, who else is there to turn to?
I, for one, am sick of waiting for the next voice to come along that can cut through the lies and the hype and the spin and the whole depraved circus that American mainstream media and politics has become. I may just be a mostly-unemployed 30-something unpublished writer, but if I don't do something, who will?
Make no mistake, I'm not trying to compare myself to Jon Stewart. I'm not pretending I can be the voice for a generation, or hell, even a voice for my neighborhood. All my life, I've been stepped on, pushed aside, overlooked, and in some cases physically and emotionally abused. I'm used to being mocked or outright ignored.
But if there's one thing I've learned about myself, it's that I have a tendency to not shut my mouth just because somebody says I should. I'm good at speaking my mind, even (or especially) when it's not appropriate.
Subtlety, in my opinion, is all fine and good when you're writing a poem, short story, novel, or even a fan fiction... but when it comes to political commentary, I'm done with the soft touch. I'm through with holding back. I'm mad as hell at what our country and our world have become. And instead of uselessly stewing in my own anger, as I've done too often, this time I intend to do something about it.
That's why I'm still here.
Last week, the week of my 31st birthday, an insane gunman killed a news anchor and her cameraman from my hometown NBC affiliate on live TV, and then himself. Why? The mainstream media jumped all over the shock and tragedy of the story, but they can't answer "why". They don't care.
This shouldn't happen. Not to anyone, and especially not so close to home that it's almost in my backyard. But we let it happen, over and over and over again, because we let lobbyist cronies and spineless cowards make our decisions for us. We let shameless Koch puppets like John Boehner and Mitch McConnell pervert our democracy and flaunt our laws, and we just lie back and take it.
Not me. Not anymore.
I'm mad. Sometimes I get so mad that I contemplate taking drastic, foolish action... leading a rally or a riot, marching to City Hall and demanding change. Sometimes I get so mad that I forget I'm just an insignificant, unemployed writer... someone who most likely can't change a thing, practically a nobody.
But if there's one thing I'm good at, it's speaking my mind. It's not keeping my mouth shut when I probably should. Now, I intend to use that mouth and the gift that is the Internet to break my silence.
It may be that all I can do is vent, rant and rave about the corruption and injustice that plagues the world. It may be that I'm like King Lear, howling uselessly into the face of the storm and drowned out by the wind.
Maybe so, but I don't care anymore.
I'm mad, I'm tired of the insanity, and this time I intend to do something about it.