Donald Trump supporters are stupid. Very stupid. The stupidest ever! If you haven’t seen Triumph’s focus group of Trump supporters, watch it!
So the question here is, is the bullshit memo incompetent right-wing propaganda, or the most clever left-wing troll ever? Check out the evidence, and you decide!
It all started with this hilarious “leaked memo” from the pollsters at Public Policy Polling. Supposedly, it’s a poll of Florida, and the results may surprise you!
The 3 day poll conducted in Florida contacted 715 voters across 63 counties. The results will need to be heavily cleansed before release. The top level numbers are as follows:
§ 74% Donald Trump
§ 9% Hillary Clinton
§ 3% Jill Stein
§ 1% Gary Johnson
§ 6% Undecided
Got it? Trump is beating Clinton in Florida by a 74-9 margin, numbers so devastating that the firm would need to “heavily cleanse” them before release. Among the poll’s additional findings: “Trump’s approval has increased dramatically with working minorities. He is up 12 points with African Americans and 32 points with Latinos. For minorities without employment, he is still underwater but has improved by 8 points.” PPP had great fun mocking incredulous Breitbarters on Twitter.
So before you decide whether this is right-wing propaganda or left-wing trolling, read on for additional evidence.
Evidence that it’s a left-wing troll:
- The numbers are just so outrageously out of the realm of possibility, that even dumb right wingers would try to temper them.
- This hilarious “conclusion”: “We have a set of target sample-weights from NS that will meet the sponsor’s needs nicely. The question is going to be how far we can maintain this charade. It might be time to find other jobs. I bet those fuckers at Monmouth are living it up with their interns. I also have some contacts at Quinnipiac. I hear they’re all smoking up Bernie-grade weed. Fucking college polls.”
- Yup, what kind of right winger would come up with “Bernie-grade weed”?
- Donald Trump is winning the black vote by 12? Latinos by 32? This is feeding right wingers exactly what they so desperately want to hear!
- ”Our recommendations are to keep her out of the public eye as much as possible and, potentially, use a body double for activities such as driving or climbing stairs, should these be in the public eye.” This ludicrous recommendation may be the biggest clue that this is a liberal troll, so stupid that only a liberal laughing at Breitbart’s obsession with Clinton’s health could come up with it! Then again, right wingers are so fucking stupid (see Triumph’s focus group if you need an additional reminder), that “ridiculousness” can never be conclusive evidence.
Evidence that it’s right-wing propaganda:
- The memo is chock-full of wish fulfillment using the latest right-wing conspiracies. “Hillary’s emails continue to be the largest source of her trust issues as well as concerns about her failing health.” No one outside of Breitbart has gone anywhere near the stupid notion that Clinton has health issues.
- “[T]he number one factor in her decline has been exposure to her at the DNC. 72% of Democrats and 93% of Republicans find her voice ‘grating.’” Sure, a liberal troll could play on the idea that swaths of America can’t stand Hillary’s voice, but yeah, that’s the sort of thing that the Breitbarters obsess over, and no one else.
- ”It is of paramount importance that the Hillary Clinton campaign continue to promote the narrative that Trump is or has reached terminal levels in polling. The only number in this survey going in the right direction is the belief that Mr. Trump will lose the election.” This is some of the best evidence it’s right-wing propaganda. There is real fear in corners of the Right that Trump’s brutal polling is depressing enthusiasm. So why not pretend that it’s all a mirage, a liberal plot to depress conservative engagement? Or … it could literally be the smartest bit in a very smart liberal troll’s effort to tell the Breitbarters exactly what they want to hear.
- “Liberal/Democratic voters are fortunately immune to any negative information or evidence against Mrs. Clinton. Apparently her lack of honesty and corrupt nature are ‘factored in’ to her support.’” Very right-wing framing.
- “It is our conclusion that a polling-driven narrative can only go so far with rallies, yard signs, and digital media indicators, all of which show a substantial and even overwhelming body of support for Mr. Trump.” Trump has really hung his hat on the idea that big rallies prove he is winning, and we all know how reliable yard signs are at voting! So it would be natural for a right winger trying to discredit polling to also lean on “big rallies!” as the obvious counterfactual to polling data. But any smart liberal troll knows this, and would use it.
- “While a candidate’s poor handling of sensitive information was an across-the-board detractor for Republicans and Independents, it actually made some Democrats more likely to vote for the candidate.” A nice nod to the conservative pretension that liberals hate America and want to see it harmed.
- “For FBI charges of corruption, theft, or even murder, this increased the candidates standing across Democratic voters. Being indicted by the FBI could be beneficial to Hillary for her base. It was, however, absolutely toxic for Independents.” Same as above.
So there you have it! You can read the original “memo” itself since I didn’t excerpt all of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the author eventually emerged, and it turned out she or he was conservative, making it the dumbest thing ever written. I also wouldn’t be surprised if the author was liberal, making it the most brilliant piece of writing all year! But it can only be one or the other, so what do you think?