Never let it be said that Marco Rubio doesn't remember the true meaning of Christmas. The birth of our Lord and Savior (terms and conditions may apply; your mileage may vary) is a time for contemplation, and Peace on Earth, and buying a gun so that you can shoot ISIS.
[He] recently explained that Christmas had been the perfect time for him to purchase a firearm as the "last line of defense" against ISIS.
"I'm not home very often," Rubio to CBS host John Dickerson on Sunday. "And so, those were one of the few days I was there. Second, I have a right to protect my family."
It is important to note that this is not pandering to a forever paranoid and increasingly conspiracy-addled Republican base. Sen. Marco Rubio is just very, very worried that ISIS is going to show up in Miami and that his wife and four children are going to need to shoot ISIS.
"In fact, if ISIS were to visit us or our communities at any moment, the last line of defense between ISIS and my family is the ability I have to protect my family from them or from a criminal or anyone else that seeks to do us harm. Millions of Americans feel that way."
If Marco Rubio's family is our last line of defense against ISIS, we are screwed. Straight-up screwed. It wouldn't matter if Marco Rubio did battle against them with a newly purchased gun or with a spatula from the kitchen. I am quite confident of this.
So that's what a Republican presidential candidate buys himself as a Christmas present. Another gun, to protect himself from ISIS. It's what baby Jesus would have wanted, and now I'm picturing a warm nativity scene with Joseph and Mary huddling over a manger; we look down to see the just-born babe and there, wrapped in swaddling clothes, is little holy Wayne LaPierre.