From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
My 2016 Resolutions
As always, broadening my horizons this year…
I shall be nicer to people, thus allowing me to start charging them a daily courtesy fee.
I shall reduce my carbon footprint by removing the diamonds from the soles of my shoes.
I shall try harder to catch Democrats doing things right and give them louder props for rightly doing them.
I shall finally lose some weight by hiring someone to haul a bunch of junk from the basement to the dump.
I shall win the Nobel Peace Prize for brokering a series of group hugs in the Hillary-Bernie pie fight diaries.
I shall take a swig of whatever booze is handy when I hear a tea partier complaining about how the Republican majorities in the House and Senate have betrayed them!
With respect to the above, I shall keep a spare liver in the refrigerator.
I shall present evidence exposing Paul Ryan’s beard as a clip-on.
I shall think more about world peace, economic justice and environmental responsibility. Or this year’s Star Wars movie, whichever comes fir… Look out! TIE fighters straight ahead!!!
I shall reduce the demands I place on Maine Senator Angus King to one 300-page ultimatum per week (down from last year’s 400).
I shall be the first in the nation to call the winner of the 2016 presidential election.
[Looks at watch] Okay, I'm calling it. [Writes down winner's name and seals in mayonnaise jar until November 8] Suck on it, networks.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 4, 2016
Note: A reminder that there's a New England Daily Kos meetup happening this Saturday, January 9 starting at noon. The place: The Farm Bar And Grille at 57 State Street in Kittery (Maine's southern-most town). To RSVP or get more info, email Kossack nhox42 at nhox42 [at] yahoo.com or send him a Kosmail. On the agenda: accidentally flushing the agenda down the toilet. And eating.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the State of the Union Address: 8
Days 'til the Florida Manatee Festival in Crystal River: 12
Percent of Americans who start the year believing abortion should be legal in most or all cases according to an AP-GfK poll, up from 51% a year ago: 58%
Tons of “enriched uranium materials” that have been shipped out of Iran in accordance with last year’s multi-nation agreement: 12.5 tons
Length of the average jail stay, up from 9 days in 1978: 23 days
Rank of Star Wars VII, Jurassic World IV and Avengers II among the top-grossing movies of 2015: #1, #2, #3
Number of the top 10 highest-grossing 2015 movies that aren’t sequels or remakes: 2 (Inside Out at #4 and The Martian at #8)
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NEW Feature! “Meet Me in St. Louis”
Brought to you by the 2016 Netroots Nation Convention in St. Louis, July 14-17. Let’s start out with some fun facts, for which my #1 source is, of course, Nestle-Purina. St. Louis is…
…where 7-Up and Dr. Pepper were invented.
…where the ice cream cone was first invented.
…where the first interstate highway was built.
…home to Saint Louis University, the oldest university west of the Mississippi.
...where the tallest monument in the U.S. (630 ft. tall) was built---known as The Gateway Arch.
Oh, and this: St. Louis is the home base of Nestle-Purina. What a coincidence!
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Puppy Pic of the Day:
Happy Baroo Year…
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CHEERS to January! Anyone who enjoys winter sports is in heaven this month. And hot clam chowder on a frigid, snowy day is unbeatable. Plus: minimum wage hikes in 13 states and D.C. (plus Portland, Maine and other cities). Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! FDR's birthday! Australia Day! National Pie Day (the 23rd)! California Dried Plum Digestive Health Month! Oscar nominations! Here’s an interesting bit of trivia: today is National Trivia Day! And Republicans get one final month to try and bloviate their way for the chance---nay, the beautiful, classy honor---of coming in second place in pre-primary polling under Donald Trump. (Pay no attention to Hillary and Bernie lickin' their chops for the chance to destroy any one of 'em in the general.) Whee! What fun!
JEERS to January. Fingers...numb...already. Make...stop.
CHEERS to the continuing adventures Ol' Whatsizface. When last we left presidential failure Barack Hussein Obama, he was jetting off to that foreign and exotic land Cokie Roberts calls "Hawaii" buoyed by rising poll numbers, strong economic news, an historic nuclear pact with Iran, a multi-nation climate agreement, low gas prices and coffee with Seinfeld. Now he's back and itchin' to keep on controlling the narrative, and this oughtta do the trick:
Renewing his emphasis on the need for more gun restrictions, President Obama
on Thursday will participate in a live televised town hall meeting to discuss gun violence in the United States, according to the White House.
The hourlong event, which will be held at George Mason University outside Washington, will be televised on CNN at 8 p.m. It will come days after Mr. Obama meets with Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch on Monday to discuss what executive actions he can take to curb gun violence.
Republicans, of course, are greeting the news by throwing tantrums on Fox News, and right-wing social media has already turned this into Obama’s first scandal of the year: Gettingstuffdonegate.
JEERS to that good old double standard. And speaking of guns, let's turn our attention to Oregon, where law enforcement authorities are taking a calm, rational and patient approach to ending an occupation of a federal building at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge by camo-clad domestic terrorists bristling with guns and threatening to kill police if a couple of their buddies aren't given special treatment by the U.S. judicial system. Because, y'know, it's important to get all the facts and assess the situation carefully before you go rushing in with guns blazing. Right, Tamir Rice? Right, Laquan McDonald? Right, Levar Jones? Right, Walter Scott? Right, Samuel DuBose? Right, John Crawford III? I mean…right???
JEERS to the continuing adventures of The Not Very Good Politician. Last week Republican candidate Jeb "Can Fix It" Bush---who has yet to fix anything requiring more than a squirt of WD-40---decided at a town hall meeting that he needed to give one of his prominent supporters one 'o them playful Bush nicknames. So right there in front of a South Carolina audience, he dubbed state senator and Bush supporter Katrina Shealy "Hurricane Katrina." For her part, Shealy looked on the bright side, saying "At least he didn't call me Heckuva Job Brownie."
CHEERS to fill-'er-up nation. Triple-A says that there's one thing that won’t be busting our budgets in the coming year: our precious juice…
It estimates that the average price of a gallon of regular, unleaded gasoline would be between $2.25 and $2.45 a gallon.
In 2015, the average price per gallon was $2.40---Americans saved $540 on gas as a result. In its report, AAA also said it projected that the national average would stay steady or drop another 10 cents in the coming weeks. Even though gas prices can vary by season, AAA said it didn't think the average would go above $3 a gallon this year.
But, golly, that's not what was supposed to happen. Right, GOP, circa March 2012?
"When President Obama took office, gas prices were about $1.85 per gallon," said Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah).
"Now that they're up to about $3.75 per gallon, we can see a steady increase. Over this 38-month period of time of his presidency so far, gasoline prices have risen on average of about 5 cents per gallon per month. If he's reelected, it's a total of an additional 58 months. With that increase, gas prices will be up at around $6.60 per gallon."
He really should pull over at the next service station. His brain is running on fumes.
CHEERS to 84,904 square miles of madcap fun. And speaking of Mike Lee’s stomping grounds, happy 119th Birthday to Utah--- also known as the "Beehive Hairdo State"---which entered the union on January 4th, 1896. The state animal is the Rocky Mountain Elk. The state bird is, oddly, the California Sea Gull. The state fossil: Orrin Hatch.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 4, 2006
JEERS to sellers of junk science. "Ex-gay" proponent Charles Sacarides is dead at 83. Among his pearls of wisdom:
"Gays ascribe their condition to God, but he should not have to take that rap, any more than he should be blamed for the existence of other manmade maladies---like war."
May he be sentenced to an eternity of dry-cleaning our feather boas. [1/4/16 Update: Hey, easy on the starch, you clumsy fool!]
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And just one more…
JEERS to the Long, Cold, Dark Road Ahead. Our annual reminder that the next warm-weather holiday when most Americans actually get a long weekend off is Memorial Day. That's 143 days away. And to wash that lovely thought out of your head, enjoy the first tweet of the new year from astronaut Scott Kelly at the International Space Station:
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"America is great! Cheers and Jeers is disgusting,"
---Skywriter