Last night I posted a diary providing a space for those of us who were suicidal in the wake of the horrific election results, and its implications for our most vulnerable. I have recieved several requests for another one, as this is persisting. And amid reports that as many as 8 transgender children have taken their lives after last night’s results, I think it is important to have a space to speak openly and provide support to one another. Obviously this is not a substitute for medical care-and if you are in immediate crisis please, please avail yourself of one of the resources I will link to at the bottom of this post.
Suicidal thoughts are not talked about-it’s seen as a sign of weakness, a cry for attention, or a character defect. In reality, many of us here on Kos do suffer from mental illness, including myself. I have C-PTSD, which is not a well known condition but is likely underdiagnosed. A synopsis of the condititon from the website Out of the Fog
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape, such as in cases of:
- domestic emotional, physical or sexual abuse
- childhood emotional, physical or sexual abuse
- entrapment or kidnapping.
- slavery or enforced labor.
- long term imprisonment and torture
- repeated violations of personal boundaries.
- long-term objectification.
- exposure to gaslighting & false accusations
- long-term exposure to inconsistent, push-pull,splitting or alternating raging & hooveringbehaviors.
- long-term taking care of mentally ill or chronically sick family members.
- long term exposure to crisis conditions.
The diagnosis was first proposed by trauma psychologist Judith Herman, whose book “Trauma & Recovery” truly changed my life. I wrote a review and synopsis of it for the “Books that Changed My Life” series a few years back:
Books That Changed My Life-Trauma & Recovery by Judith Herman, M.D.
Reading it now, this is something that jumped out:
What made this book so powerful for me was that it went beyond case histories, activities, and healing on an individual level. We are social beings, and our existence does not occur in a vacuum-we must interact daily with the outside world. The way our culture regards trauma and its victims is therefore vital to those who are trying to reintegrate into society after profound psychological distress.
This is very true, and important to understand-it is not as simple as just getting over it. I am one of many who sees the face of every man who abused me when I look in Trump’s eyes, and the idea of him being president horrifies me. I know there are many others who feel the same way, for the same reasons.
At one point the book was available on Scribd for download, but it doesn’t appear to be anymore. However it is on Amazon, and I recommend it to any of you who have been the victim of sexual abuse, domestic violence, or other forms of trauma that are making this especially difficultl to cope with. Please know you are not alone. If you want to read this book but can’t afford it, please PM me and I will use my Amazon points to get it for you. My husband is an Amazon addict and has racked up quite a few, so it’s really no problem.
If you are in crisis please use any of the following resources
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
There is also chat available, though I would recommend hearing a human voice.
This video maybe isn’t the greatest fit, but I’ve been listening to this song all day and it gives me comfort...it’s okay to be mad as hell too
((HUGS)) My Kos community. We will get through this together.