From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Haiku + Graham Cracker Crust + Fruit Filling = Pieku?
Nino gets his wings
GOP holds breath 'til blue
Eight is enough, O!
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New #1 threat
Oceans cannot protect us
Beyonce’s black songs
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Hot in this boardroom
Summer in February?
Banksters feel the Bern
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"This president knows
exact…exact…exact…" [Sparks!!!]
Rubot malfunction
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Snyder poisons Flint
And the rich get their tax cuts
Is that a problem?
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Carly Chris Huck Rand
Picked like fleas off gorilla
Trump peels banana
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Note: Man on tractor gobbled up by pop singer. Tonight on Eyewitness News, an exclusive interview with the farmer in Adele.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Daylight Saving Time kicks in again: 25
Days 'til the Zilker Kite Festival in Austin: 18
Percent of South Carolina Republican voters who wish the south had won the Civil War, according to the latest PPP poll: 30%
Number of tractors that will be produced annually in Cuba starting next year by the first U.S. company to do business there since relations were restored: 1,000
Number of hospitals bombed by Russia in Aleppo, Syria Monday: 2
Average cost per vote in Britain's 2015 elections, according to Bloomberg: 42 cents
Date on which the World Taekwondo Federation changed its name to avoid confusion over the abbreviation WTF, according to Harper's Index: 12/7/15
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Mid-week Rapture Index:
183 (including 5 floods and 1 Supreme Court Justice-killing Marxist-Kenyan president). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day:
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CHEERS to Obama's replacement on Obama's replacement. The two Democratic candidates vying to earn a spot behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office have weighed in on the Supreme Court vacancy created by the murder---oh no, I've said too much!---I mean the gentle, natural passing of Antonin Scalia. I think they (and Senate Democrats overall) have been swift and sure in establishing the proper narrative, which is to say the truth. Hillary Clinton on Hardball (via email):
"You know, Justice Scalia was known for his strict interpretation of the Constitution.
So I find it hard to understand the Republicans wanting to blatantly ignore the Constitution in replacing him. Article II Section 2 of the Constitution clearly says that it’s the president’s job to nominate justices to the Supreme Court with the advice and consent of the Senate. The Constitution doesn’t say wait a year and hope for a president of a different party. …
Trying to flout the Constitution is a really funny way for the Republicans to be honoring Justice Scalia’s memory and legacy."
Bernie Sanders on This Week:
“President Obama, in my view, should make that nomination.
I hope he does it as soon as possible and I hope that the Senate confirms and begins deliberations as soon as possible. I don't think that Mitch McConnell has it right on this issue. The Constitution is pretty clear and that it is the job of the president of the United States to appoint [and] nominate members to the Supreme Court and the Senate confirms.”
The Vermont senator warned the public would not look kindly on “Republican actions to try to thwart” President Obama’s Supreme Court nomination.
Yesterday the Republicans' nightmare came true when the first senator from their team broke free from their grasp and told his colleagues to grow the fuck up and think beyond the moran-wing of the American electorate. Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) is now in Mitch McConnell's office either being patted on the back for his honesty or being waterboarded for his tyranny.
CHEERS to our cool-headed neighbors to the north. While the death cultists at the NRA maintain their insistence that Americans continue to be cut down by their gun-manufacturer clients' death penises, up in Canada they're doing the same thing…if by the same thing you mean the opposite thing:
[W]orried about smuggled firearms from the United States, its government is preparing to stiffen its already tough gun laws and step up border surveillance.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has promised new regulations and a string of measures to counter gun smuggling, which is regarded here as a dangerous problem underscoring the United States’ much looser firearm laws. The move comes as police have discovered an increased number of high-powered handguns and semiautomatic and automatic weapons in Canadian cities. […]
Yet compared with the United States, the incidence of gun violence in Canada, which has a population of 35.2 million people, is almost minute. The latest figures, from 2014, show only 156 gun-related homicides in Canada compared with 10,945 in its more populous southern neighbor. … Nothing in the Canadian constitution even remotely implies a right to own a firearm.
Trudeau's plan also calls for more security at the border, mainly to prevent Ted Cruz from returning and shooting his mouth off.
JEERS to civil men behaving all uncivil-like. One of the nastiest election campaigns in U.S. history (and that's sayin' something) came to an end on February 17, 1801, when the House---on the 36th vote---settled an electoral tie between Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr, with Jefferson winning and Burr settling for veep. But as heated as that House session was, the 1800 campaign between Vice President Jefferson and President John Adams (the first and last time a sitting POTUS and VPOTUS would compete against one another in a U.S. election) was epic:
The Federalists couldn't get enough of attacking Jefferson in a very, very personal way---their assaults sound like the insults leveled at Bill Clinton, another Southerner, almost 200 years later.
"Jefferson is a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father," said one leaflet. A Connecticut paper raised the specter of the French Revolution, supposedly beloved by Jefferson: "Are you prepared to see your dwellings in flames…female chastity violated, children writhing on the pike! GREAT GOD OF COMPASSION AND JUSTICE, SHIELD MY COUNTRY FROM DESTRUCTION!
Republicans claimed that Adams planned to marry one of his sons to a daughter of King George III of England in order to start an American royal dynasty and reunite England and America.
---From Anything for a Vote by Joseph Cummins
Today's lesson: as nasty as Donald Trump is with his insults, if he wants to match the rhetorical venom of 1801, he's gonna need to step up his game.
CHEERS to hitting the kiddie monsters where it hurts. Ruh roh---the overlords at ISIS are running out of money so fast that they're eliminating a serious perk for their army of delusional brats: their Snickers bars. The news is being met with grudging acceptance. But if management lays a finger on their Butterfinger, sources say there'll be an all-out mutiny.
CHEERS to today's edition of Is That Paul Krugman Wearing A Donald Trump-Grumpy Cat T-Shirt? Oh My God It IS Paul Krugman Wearing A Donald Trump-Grumpy Cat T-Shirt! Hey, is that Paul Krugman wearing a Donald Trump-Grumpy Cat T-shirt?
Oh my god it IS Paul Krugman Wearing a Donald Trump-Grumpy Cat T-shirt! This has been today's edition of Is That Paul Krugman Wearing A Donald Trump-Grumpy Cat T-Shirt? Oh My God It IS Paul Krugman Wearing A Donald Trump-Grumpy Cat T-Shirt!
CHEERS to legal libations. On this date in 1933, the U.S. Senate passed the Blaine Act, which effectively ended prohibition. Who says Christmas comes in December?
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 17, 2006
"SPLOT!" to the cellar dweller. That would be the sound of President Bush's post-State of the Union non-bounce. He actually dropped from 43 to 40 percent in the past month, according to the brand-new Harris poll. For those of you keeping track at home, his February approval ratings since 2001 go like this: 56, 79, 52, 51, 48, 40. And now you know at least one lottery ticket combination that's a guaranteed loser.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to America's top dog. I still don’t understand why they don’t hire Fred Willard to do the play-by-play for this event like he did in Best in Show, but whatever, no one ever listens to me. Last night at the Westminster Kennel Club's 140th annual competition (the Super Bowl of dog shows minus the concussions and white-people-scaring Black Panthers-themed halftime show), C.J. the German shorthaired pointer took home the coveted Best in Show trophy:
Allowing a foreign dog to win is yet another blow for American exceptionalism. Thanks, o-BAMA.
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
We Investigated, and Bill in Portland Maine is Named in at Least 169 Federal Lawsuits
---LawNewz