Cue scary music.
It’s 2017, and President Donald Trump is considering the list of possible Supreme Court picks. (Many thanks to foresterbob and Sister Havana for suggesting some of the names!)
But first, a word from our sponsor!
Here at Top Comments we strive to nourish community by rounding up some of the site's best, funniest, most mojo'd & most informative commentary, and we depend on your help!! If you see a comment by another Kossack that deserves wider recognition, please send it either to topcomments at gmail or to the Top Comments group mailbox by 9:30pm Eastern. Please please please include a few words about why you sent it in as well as your user name (even if you think we know it already :-)), so we can credit you with the find!
1. Sarah Palin
Pro: Her gibberish is only slightly less understandable than typical legalistic argle-bargle.
Con: She’d quit halfway through the first case.
2. Dick Cheney
Pro: Will make NRA deliriously happy. Actually, he’ll probably shoot you in the face if you don’t choose him.
Con: His idea of writing a legal dissent is “Go f* yourself.”
3. Cliven Bundy
Pro: He’ll have plenty of time on his hands.
Con: Will want to bring his cattle to graze in front of the courthouse.
4. George Zimmerman
Pro: Hasn’t been in the news for anything criminal for at least a week.
Con: Whoops, just checked the news to be sure. Never mind.
5. Zombie Reagan
Pro: Guaranteed confirmation by Republican Senate.
Con: Way too liberal by today’s Tea Party standards.
6. Miss Universe
Pro: Has the only assets Trump cares about in a woman.
Con: Steve Harvey would probably swear in the wrong contestant.
7. Joe Arpaio
Pro: Would make all attorneys appear in pink undies.
Con: Would probably arrest Sotomayor for trespassing if she tried to come to work.
8. James O’Keefe
Pro: Great wardrobe underneath the robe. Also, he has video proof that all the other candidates were having gay abortions while grabbing guns in BENGHAZI!!!
Con: His probation officer won’t let him travel to Washington.
9. Ann Coulter
Pro: Will do anything to have someone pay attention to her again.
Con: Her legal opinions would be churned out in hardback editions which would be given away by every conservative organization, but no one would actually read them.
10. Louie Gohmert
Pro: Guaranteed not to upstage the other justices with his fancy book-learnin’.
Con: Some guy named Hunter would probably die of happiness.
Trump throws aside the list.
“These are all losers! There’s only one person classy enough! I’ll appoint myself to serve as President and Supreme Court Justice at the same time! We’ll need a giant ‘T’ on top of the courthouse! I’ll be yuuuuuuge!”
End of nightmare. On to Top Comments!
From your humble (if antisocial) diarist:
Walter Einenkel’s diary Jeb Bush just tweeted a gun pic and the Twitterverse obliterated him for it had a lot of gold in the comments. There was much pondering of Jeb!’s caption to the gun picture: “America.” Nosleep4U offered this musical commentary.
Let us be gunners, We'll carry our AKs together. I've got some ammo right Here in my bag.
So we bought a pack of silencers, And Mrs. Wagner's pies, And walked off, To gun for America.
- With apologies to pretty much everyone, except Jeb.
Top mojo, courtesy of mik:
Picture quilt, courtesy of jotter: