Was how one eminent federal judge characterized the White House offer of nomination to SCOTUS. According to insiders, the White House is desperate to find a sacrificial lamb in its search for a Scalia replacement. In the wake of the Senate Judiciary Committee’s adamant refusal to consider any Obama nominee, the short list is becoming even shorter. Anthony Weiner and Elliott Spitzer, lawyers with extensive experience at being vilified, scrutinized, ignored and rejected, declined.
Typical refusals included:
“Like I need six months of Trump saying I’m low energy.
“It won’t fit on my resume.”
“The wife and kids were in New York and she demanded tickets to “Hamilton” or a divorce. I got them from my roommate at Yale who works for a hedge fund.”
“I flunked Latin.”
“I inhaled.”
“Just finished paying the IRS eight thousand in withholding for the kid’s nanny.”
“My kid goes to an all-white Christian academy. I can take the heat, but the agitati?
“I need this like another Planned Parenthood case.”
“Can I get back to you on this?” said Judge Judy, “It’s better than being flattened by a bus and may boost the ratings.”
As a public service, provide your own excuses for prospective nominees.