I haven’t been around here as much since I lost my job in December. Job hunting is time consuming.
I voted for Bernie yesterday. At the early vote location, I was waiting for my friend to finish voting (for Bernie) and I saw a poster of the North Carolina state seal which contains our state motto: Esse Quam Videri, which I recall from 4th grade public school social studies class means, To Be Rather Than To Seem. I couldn’t help thinking how much that sums up why I support Bernie.
He doesn’t just try to seem to be progressive. He doesn’t just try to seem like he cares about working people. He doesn’t just try to seem to be on our side in standing up to the powerful. And that’s what this choice has felt like for me, the choice between Being and Seeming to be. I got tears in my eyes when I realized that I’d just cast the best vote I’ve ever cast in my whole life and possibly for my whole life to come. I know there is still hope for Bernie to be on the ballot in November, but there’s also the possibility that he won’t.
After leaving the poll location, I mentioned to my friend that he could bring his dad there to vote if he wanted — they have a curbside voting option for disabled people, which would make it a lot easier. He said, But dad’s voting for Clinton. We both looked at each other and nodded, understanding each other. I said, He has a right to vote. My friend said, Yeah, he fought in World War Two. I’ll take him tomorrow.
Today, I went with them to the poll location. He’s hard of hearing, legally blind and at 98 years old, can’t stand in line for any length of time. They brought a machine out to the car for him. My friend had to push the buttons for him. And you have to yell for him to hear you, even when he’s wearing his hearing aid:
Dad! Who do you want for president?
Eehhh. Hillary. Bill will tell her what to do.
It kind of hurt to help Hillary get that vote, but it felt important to do the right thing.
To Be Rather Than To Seem. Chocking it up to cultivating good karma.
I really want to send Bernie another $15 or $20, but this past weekend I was down to my last three cents in my bank account. Bright side to that, bills got paid without any checks bouncing. Even brighter, I haven’t touched my (admittedly very small) retirement savings. I have 14 more weeks to find a job before I’ll lose my unemployment benefits. So I can use all the good karma I can get. (Note: I know that’s not really how karma works… it affects the next reincarnation, not this one...assuming that’s how things work anyway)
And because I’d previously felt myself becoming less and less willing to vote for Hillary if she’s the nominee (just more and more repulsed by her weasel words and her attempts to SEEM different from the way I perceive her to BE), I stopped coming here regularly or reading anything but pro-Bernie diaries when I do. I skip comments except for the BNR. And I’ve stopped watching any political shows because the less I see and hear from her, the more able I’ll be to hold my nose if it comes to that.