You’ve got a spare week in June: you’ve got nearly $5,000 to spend.
Why not burn that cash on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to schmooze with some of your favorite right-wing losers?
To make that vision a reality, the Freedom Alliance and the National Rifle Association have teamed up to bring you the Tea Partier’s Dream Cruise from June 16 to Jun 23!
As you’d expect from a trip for All-American patriots, you’ll get to cruise down the Blue Danube — in Germany. Arriving in the former Soviet bloc nation Czech Republic, you’ll sneak across the border into Vilshofen, Germany where you’ll board the AmaViola, a Dutch river cruiser. Departing from Vilshofen, you and a select group of fellow travelers will glide down the river through Austria and Slovakia and arrive in Budapest, where you can thrill to the memories of Soviet troops crushing the rebellion in 1956.
Can’t get much more All-American than that!
But you will be surrounded by real America heroes: people you only dreamed you would get to meet.
Enjoy moderated panel sessions featuring:
Ben Carson: Failed Presidential candidate
Newt Gingrich: Serial adulterer and the only Speaker of the House ever to resign over ethics violations. Possibly the leading conservative promoter of family values.
Wayne LaPierre: Executive Director of the National Rifle Association who, like you, will have to leave his guns at home due to those intrusive European gun control laws.
Ed Meese: Ronald Reagan’s good buddy and Attorney General who resigned during the investigation of the Iraq-Jordan Pipeline Deal. Also figured in the Iran-Contra affair.
Oliver North: Disgraced Marine convicted for his role in the Iran-Contra scandal. Pardoned by President Bush, Ollie has become one of the leading lights in the reactionary movement.
Callista Gingrich: “Callie Jo” was Newt’s “other woman” for six-and-a-half years while he was married to his second wife.
In addition to the exciting panel discussions, you’ll have opportunities to get up close and personal with our special guests at parties and dinners. You will also get to meet many of your fellow like-minded Americans.
Cabins start at $4,895 per person for a double-occupancy, fixed-window unit or $5,395 for a cabin with a French balcony. Booking is available only through the Cruise & Travel Authority, so act now while space is still available.
Note: This is not a joke — well, it’s not any more of a joke than anything so unintentionally loaded with irony would be — but it is presented in the spirit of humor.