How time flies! It seems like just a week or so ago that Ted Cruz was announcing Carly Fiorina as his running mate. Oh, wait — it was just a week ago! And now his campaign is kaput (er, “suspended”), and Donald Trump is vetting his own Vice Presidential candidates.
Since I have approximately the same chance of becoming President as Ted Cruz or Donald Trump, I figured I’d better announce my own running mate soon. I’m trying to narrow down the list.
But first, a word from our sponsor!
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Top Picks:
Elizabeth Warren. Contractually required to be on all democratic shortlists. Of course, she’ll want to stay in the Senate instead, where she’s kicking tail.
Jon Stewart. Could win debates just with his facial expressions. Would sweep New Jersey, especially if Christie is running with Trump.
Keith Olbermann. Just hearing him & Trump calling each other names would be worth six months on the campaign trail.
Cory Booker. Pundits love to natter about “balance,” and a Tara-Cory ticket would be balanced for gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, geographic region, and even marital status. And knowing him, he’d find time to also be Secretary of State, Supreme Court Justice, and guest judge on Dancing With the Stars.
Oprah Winfrey. You get healthcare and you get healthcare and you get healthcare…! Plus, she’d make my book a best-seller.
Rhea (my border collie). Politics is often described as figuratively herding cats, and she can do it literally.
The Top Comments Crew. They’re progressive, they’re people you’d love to have a drink with, and they know how to get impossible tasks done on time, every single day. (Um, has somebody finished that Honolulu birth certificate for lotac?)
Carly Fiorina. What the heck, she needs a job. Again.
I’m still taking applications, so feel free to post your qualifications in comments.
On to Top Comments!
From BoiseBlue:
In response to a question about what demographic Trump hasn't alienated, Hinonema01 had a hilarious response.
From JG in MD:
This comment about climate change is amazing. (Note from Tara: comment is by J from GA, in Meteor Blades’s diary Plight of Louisiana refugees ought to ring the bell for breaking free of fossil fuels.)
From your humble (if antisocial) diarist:
In last night’s Top Comments, my TC co-conspirator Chrislove shared an Andy Borowitz tweet that was hilariously accurate.
Top mojo, courtesy of mik:
Picture quilt, courtesy of jotter: