From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Feel the Burn
This is a great story I like to highlight every year, but in 2016 it's particularly relevant as America prepares to see the first woman take the oath of office as President of the United States five months from now.
96 years ago, on August 18, 1920, a century and a half after the founders wrote that "All Men Are Created Equal," the 19th Amendment to the Constitution giving women the right to vote was assured passage when Tennessee's legislature became the 36th in the nation to approve it.
It was far from a sure thing. The pro-suffragists wore yellow roses on their lapels, the anti-suffragists wore red ones, and it looked like the reds were going to win. Until...
...the legislators squared off for the third roll call.
A blatant red rose on his breast, Harry Burn---[at 25] the youngest member of the legislature---suddenly broke the deadlock. Despite his red rose, he voted in favor of the bill and the house erupted into pandemonium. With his "yea," Burn had delivered universal suffrage to all American women.
The outraged opponents to the bill began chasing Representative Burn around the room. In order to escape the angry mob, Burn climbed out one of the third-floor windows of the Capitol. Making his way along a ledge, he was able to save himself by hiding in the Capitol attic.
The sore losers were, naturally, the forebears of modern-day Republicans. And what prompted Burn to vote for progress? A letter:
Dear Son:
Hurrah and vote for suffrage! Don't keep them in doubt!
I notice some of the speeches against. They were bitter.
I have been watching to see how you stood, but have not noticed anything yet.
Don't forget to be a good boy and help Mrs. Catt put the "rat" in ratification.
Your mother
Mom always did know best. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, August 18, 2016
Note: I've decided I can't vote for any candidate who wears those clothes, has that hair, looks that unwell, and yells every speech in that shrill voice. Sorry, Donald, but I'm voting for Hillary.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Bill Clinton turns 70: 1
Days 'til the Imagine Festival in Atlanta: 8
Drop in gas prices in July: 4.7%
Texas voters under 65 who say they'll be voting for Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, respectively, according to a new PPP poll: 49%-45%
Number of U.S. troops stationed in South Korea according to AP: 28,500
Amount Vanderbilt University paid United Daughters of the Confederacy to buy back naming rights to Confederate Memorial Hall so it could remove the word "Confederate": $1.2 million
Amount for which the Playboy mansion was sold: $100 million
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Team USA Olympic Medal Count
Gold 30 Silver 32 Bronze 31
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
[P]erhaps we should stop with all the shoulds and shouldn'ts and let Hillary Clinton be herself. And we might also examine how our own prejudices and predilections are affecting our views of Mrs. Clinton.
I'm still startled when I think of the uproar during the campaign over the fact that Mrs. Clinton once put marriage in the same sentence with Indian reservations and slavery as an example of a legal dependency situation. Do you know anything about the legal history of marriage?
Wives, until relatively recently, had no civil rights, no legal rights and no property rights. Marriage in the 19th century was a classic example of a dependency relationship. And yet people carried on as though this simple statement of historical fact were some evil, anti-family view. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
---November 1992
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Now with bonus earworm...
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CHEERS to the #1 story of the day. The flying bum is airborne! The flying bum is airborne! Yes, the hybrid-blimp version of Howard Hughes's absurdly-large Spruce Goose defied gravity and took a victory lap around its airfield yesterday, ushering in a new era of human flight in butt-shaped objects:
The world's largest aircraft branded 'the flying bum' has taken to the skies in a successful maiden voyage---the first since a revamp in Britain.
The 302ft-long Airlander 10 - part plane, part helicopter, part airship - loomed overhead at Cardington airfield in Bedfordshire as the sun started to set on this evening. […]
[Stephen McGlennan, chief executive of Hybrid Air Vehicles (HAV)] said: “Think of a big helicopter, a really giant helicopter. This can do the same thing that a helicopter can do---that's to say, provide air transportation for people and goods without the need for a runway---but this thing can take more over longer distances, it's cheaper and it's greener.”
What more can we say? It’s asstounding!
CHEERS to 45 at 89. Hillary Clinton has an 89 percent chance of becoming our 45th President of the United States. I know what you're saying: "Bill, how do you get to be so damn smart like that with all the facts and numbers and suchlike?" I'll tell you my secret: coconut oil. Yes, it's what I slather my entire body in every morning right before I click on the all-new Daily Kos Election page that delivers an up-to-the minute statistical readout of the state of the race. But that's just the tip of the electionberg. Go check it out. And read more about the nuts and bolts of it in Drew Linzer's post. Oh, and another secret: wear gloves. Coconut oil is some slippery shit. (My mouse just slipped out of my hand and knocked over a lamp. Sorry, kitty.)
JEERS to being a fly on the wall. In news that should terrify everyone, Team Trump got its first intelligence briefing yesterday. C&J planted a microphone in National Intelligence Director James Clapper's lava lamp, and here is a partial transcript of what went down:
"Don’t touch that!”
“Don't push that!”
“Don’t tweet that!”
“Don’t sit on that!”
“Don’t pick that up!”
“Don’t turn that on!”
“Don’t turn that off!”
“Don’t tap that!"
“Don’t eat that!”
But things got better once they told Chris Christie to go wait in the car.
P.S. The state of the Trump campaign distilled to 26 glorious seconds:
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JEERS to non-Trump-made disasters. We're in the middle of a moderate drought here in New England, but it's nothing compared to the jaw-dropping nastiness in other parts of the country: wildfires in the west (one of which has expanded to 50 square miles) and floods in the south. The evacuation/displacement numbers are huge: 82,000 people living in 34,000 under wildfire evacuation warnings, and in poor Louisiana it feels a little like Katrina Part Dieux:
With an estimated 40,000 homes damaged by deadly flooding, Louisiana could be looking at its biggest housing crunch since the miserable, bumbling aftermath of Hurricane Katrina a decade ago. […]
The flooding that has struck the Baton Rouge and Lafayette areas has left at least 11 people dead. More than 30,000 have been rescued, and at least 70,000 have registered for federal disaster assistance. At the height, 11,000 people were staying in shelters, though that had dropped to 6,000 by Wednesday. […]
In a sign of the housing crunch, Livingston Parish officials are talking with FEMA about getting temporary housing for emergency and rescue workers. An estimated 75 percent of the homes in the parish of 138,000 residents were a total loss.
Here's the southeastern Louisiana United Way web site. Donate a few bucks if you feel so moved. And memo to President Obama: don’t let this get away from ya. It didn’t work out so well for the previous guy.
JEERS to shoveling, shoveling, shoveling. Speaking of weather, the New Hampshire-based tree bark readers at the Old Farmer's Almanac are out with their winter forecast---their 225th if you believe what you read in the Old Farmer's Almanac---and it looks like I may be forced to wear long pants in a few months:
Every region of the U.S. will be hit with a different type of terrible.
The Northeast and Midwest can expect "colder than normal" temperatures and precipitation is supposed to be "above normal." If you're in the Pacific Northwest, you can expect a lot of rain and chilly weather. And in the Intermountain and Appalachian regions, where ski enthusiasts would actually like cold temperatures and lots of snow, it's set to largely be warmer and less snowy than usual.
The only upside is that the South is supposed to experience a very mild winter, so it might be time to get that Florida timeshare you've been thinking about purchasing.
Also in the forecast: a 100% chance of idiots shouting "Global cooling!" at the sighting of the first snowflake. (Take your heart pills, Senator Inhofe---you know how excited you get.)
CHEERS to the Lady from Plains. Happy birthday to former First Lady and always-amazing human being Rosalynn Carter, who gets 89 candles on her cake today. How nice that her husband Jimmy completely beat his cancer last year so they can enjoy their usual tradition by stealing a Harley and going on a multi-state bank robbing spree with Jimmy in the sidecar and Lord help anyone who gets in their way. Kids these days...
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 18, 2006
CHEERS to putting some starch in the Constitution's shorts. Federal judge Anna Diggs Taylor struck down the president’s warrantless wiretapping program yesterday. Rumor has it that George W. Bush threw his crown down so hard it ended up in Dick Cheney's bunker.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the Super Bowl of super bowls. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. And if you've recently gone in a restroom deserving of the coveted title of Best Restroom in America, Cintas is now accepting nominations for the top ten. To give you an idea of how high the bar is, take a look at last year's winner (and the other nominees): the Town of Minturn Public Restrooms in Minturn, Colorado (population 1,029)...
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Nominations end in September, followed by public voting. May the best "can"didate win! (And to answer your question: three. Three hours to come up with that shitty punchline.)
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Reader: My neighbor keeps inviting me to Cheers and Jeers, but someone told me it's a cult. How can I know?
Billy Graham: What do they believe about kiddie pools? Is it alone the Word of Bill in Portland Maine, or do they add to it or claim they alone have translated it correctly? Second, what do they believe about candy corn? Is it alone the divine food of God, sent from Heaven to save us from our stinky vegetables? Third, what do they believe about other rubber duckies? Do they claim that they, and they alone, have the truth---or do they rejoice that Kevin the Socialist Duckstick is also at work elsewhere?"
---Christian Post
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