Let me start by saying, I have a lot to say about a lot of things. I don’t claim to know everything, but as any good American, I have opinions about everything.
I found DailyKos between the 2008 and 2012 elections. In the beginning, I just read what other people had to say. Then I joined so I could contribute to the conversation. I sprinkled in a couple of comments and recommended various blogs. Mainly I was a lurker.
I started to figure out who I liked and whose blogs I would read on a regular basis. Although for some reason, I don’t actually follow anyone. I should look into that. But, I digress. I have a busy life, but checking in with DKos became part of my daily routine. Although I have a smartphone, I don’t log in from that particular device. I can only read, without comment, until I get home to my computer. I actually have to work when I’m at work. No time to play on the internet. And it’s not allowed even if there were time. My husband complains that I am connected to the phone or the computer whenever I’m awake. Unfortunately, for him, that includes when I’m making meals. A few have been a little, shall we say, crisp. I’m trying to do better.
I finally decided that I wanted to do more than read and comment. And so I attempted my first blog. At this point, I’ve written a few – very few. Some have been well-received, others not so much. Sometimes, I feel I connect with people and they “get me”. In other instances, I think they miss the point of what I’m trying to say. I spend days writing and re-writing, trying to make it just so. I check my grammar, my spelling, my tone, the sentence structure, the flow. I look for dangling participles and throw in commas and semicolons only to take them out again. Even though I don’t think the readers are really that critical, unfortunately, I am.
I try to figure out what are the right words to draw the reader in. Is that my title? Is that the first line in the first paragraph? Are they turned off by the title and don’t even get to the first word? I have not yet found the art of creating click bait. What are the right word choices, individual words and groups of words, the order of the words? Part of me wants people to read what I have to say and yet there’s a part of me that hesitates over hitting publish. I think, it needs one more edit, one last check before it’s perfected. And then for good measure, I have someone read it just to be sure it’s not terrible.
The internet is an unforgiving place. Once out there, it’s out there forever. Impressions created can rarely be changed. Mistakes made cannot be unmade. The critics and allies alike are faceless and responding out of their own individual experiences and motivations. In some ways it has been a difficult space for me to navigate.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer. My mother wanted me to be a math teacher. I compromised and just got a math degree. I guess I still want to write and somehow persuade people, to evoke some kind of emotional response, all to make a difference in the world with the power of my words. DailyKos is the vehicle in which I have chosen to make that happen. I will continue to put my words out there, hoping that someone will listen; keep trying to find my own voice and hoping to be heard.