Stephen Colbert, @ 3:30 — This is a rare opportunity, for you, to directly influence a presidential debate, OK? He’s reading this online poll, to figure out what he should stay on stage! So here’s what I want you, The Colbert Nation, to do. I want you to go to gop.com/debate-prep-survey, and fill out the survey.
And, whenever… on almost every question, it gives you the option “other, please specify.” And whenever you see the words “other, please specify,” put in something we’d really like to hear Trump say!
Click on the link and if you dare, fill out the questionnaire. Good luck! Posted below the fold are the answers I submitted.
1. Which of the following issues do you want Donald Trump to address on the debate stage even if moderators fail to bring them up? (Select as many that apply.)
This is a multiple choice question about “important issues,” as determined by gop.com. Many of the choices offered are a bit loaded (i.e. “cutting taxes,” “protecting the life of the unborn,” and the unfortunately melded “social security/entitlements”), so I went with the more moderate choice of “job creation.”
2. (Optional) Is there an issue you felt was missing?
Trump's not wanting to release his tax information, as every other presidential candidate has done since 1976.
3. Should Trump focus more of his time attacking Hillary’s policies or defending his own agenda?
Trump should defend his decision to avoid releasing his tax information, in spite of the fact that every other presidential candidate since 1976 has done this.
4. Do you think Trump should refer to Hillary as “Crooked Hillary” on stage?
He should refer to himself as "Con-ald Trump," in self-reference to his business practice of stiffing contractors, and the lack of transparency around his tax returns.
5. Should Trump criticize Hillary for praising ObamaCare, which is now projected to once again raise premiums all across the country?
Donald is good at criticizing… very very good at it! But instead of doing this, he should praise himself (his other really huuuuuuge talent), for administering a premium con game on this country.
6. Should Trump call out Hillary for wanting to put coal miners out of business?
Trump should offer to put coal miners in business, by hiring them to bury his tax returns.
7. Should Trump criticize the Clinton Foundation’s corruption, and urge the Clintons to shut it down and return all foreign donations?
Not only that, but Trump should match this, by returning all donations given to him by Russian oligarchs.
8. Should Trump call out Hillary’s reluctance to say “radical Islamic terrorism” and her underlying fear of being politically incorrect?
Yes, but only if Trump proves that he can do what has been judged to be politically correct of every presidential candidate since 1976: release his tax returns.
9. Should Trump contrast his tell-it-like-it-is attitude with Hillary’s running list of lies, corruption, and deceit?
Trump should contrast this idea, and instead tell it like it is with his own running list of lies, corruption, and deceit. But this is just one debate, not a TV series.
10. Should Trump force Hillary to answer questions about her email scandal that the press still won’t ask?
Yes. The press should force Donald to answer questions about all of his scandals that they still won't ask.
11. Should Trump directly ask Hillary how it’s possible that she didn’t know how to identify confidential classified information?
It is in Trump's own interest that he ask someone about this process, so that he may better be able to classify his tax returns as "confidential."
12. Should Trump attack Hillary’s plan to grant citizenship to 11 million illegal immigrants and refusal to secure the border?
Absolutely. As Trump says on his own campaign site, "a nation without borders is not a nation." We cannot safely say that America is a nation, until we secure our northern border.
13. Should Trump call out Hillary’s massive spending programs while our country is suffering from a $19-trillion debt?
Yes. Further, Donald should advise Hillary on the Art of spending properly, while being in debt pending bankruptcy. Excuse me … bankruptcies.
14. Should Trump continue to quote Bernie Sanders who said that Hillary Clinton has “bad judgment”?
Yes, Trump should use this, and other quotes by Bernie Sanders:
“A Donald Trump presidency would be an absolute disaster for the working people of this country.”
“DonaldTrump's plan to eliminate the estate tax wouldn't help working families. It's a $4 billion tax break for his own family.”
“If Trump wants to “fix” trade he can start by making his products in the US, not low-wage countries abroad.”
15. Should Trump show his commitment to ending business as usual in Washington by calling for term limits in Congress?
There is no need for this, as just one single term of a Trump presidency would end all business in the United States, period.
16. Should Trump call out Hillary for pretending to be against the trade failure of TPP, which she once called the “gold standard” of trade deals?
(There was no “other” option for this question, so I chose “no opinion.” In other words, the same choice that Trump himself would go with, pending China’s inclusion or exclusion from the TPP)
17. Should Trump contrast his America-first foreign policy with Hillary’s globalism?
Yes. But only if this contrast is pre-approved by a consensus of his business contractors from China. And, of course, Vladimir Putin.
18. Should Trump call out Hillary’s failed promise to bring jobs to upstate New York as senator?
Yes, and his wearing a powerful red Trump™ necktie that is made in China will definitely serve to accentuate this call-out.
19. Should Trump point to Hillary’s foreign policy failures including Iraq, Libya, Syria, Benghazi, and the failed “Russian Reset”?
Once his memory with regard to whether he has ever met Putin has been given a Russian reset, Trump should not only point at it, but give it a flip-of-the-bird, as he would do to one of them dangerous little Iranian boats. Scary….
20. Should Trump contrast himself as a tough negotiator with Hillary’s history of waging endless wars that fail miserably?
His negotiation skills can conceivably transfer from business to executive office, i.e. President Trump to nuclear arsenal: "You're fired!"
21. Should Trump continue to expose how Hillary and the Democrats have failed inner cities with big-government policies that create endless cycles of poverty and crime?
No. Trump should expose his own policy, but only if he can stop before getting too frisky.
22. Do you think school choice, charter schools, and local decision-making should be key components of our country’s education policy?
Yes, and Trump's own Trump University™ can provide the necessary template for success, by offering degrees in False Claims, Racketeering, Breach of Contract, and Business Operation Without A License.
23. Do you agree that raising taxes will stunt the economy, hurt middle-class families, and won’t even solve our growing debt crisis?
Speaking of raising taxes, and in lieu of our compliant news media, I'd like to again raise the issue of Donald Trump's taxes.
24. Do you agree that terrorists held at Guantanamo Bay should not be released and relocated to America as Obama suggests?
Those detainees who are given a trial and determined *not* to be terrorists should be released. Those who are actual terrorists will have no problem finding work in President Trump’s staff.
25. Do you agree that the Iran Deal, developed by Hillary, should be ripped up and renegotiated?
See question #19.
26. Should Trump focus on his own experience living the American Dream, and his desire to make it accessible for ALL Americans?
Yes. He should specifically focus on this particular experience from 1994.
27. Should Trump take this moment to show the American people he has actually created jobs and understands how to get stuff done?
Yes, to how he actually created these jobs. Maybe, if you can explain what you mean by "stuff."
28. Should Trump continue to describe himself as an outsider ready to take on the gridlock, corruption, and waste of Washington -- everything that Hillary represents?
Portraying himself as an outsider will better enable him to perfect the Art of gridlock, corruption, and waste.
29. How would you rate Trump’s campaign? (i.e. too conservative, too liberal, too moderate)
Too conservative on disclosure (see "tax returns"), too liberal on Twitter posting, and with rhetoric that is in very much need of moderation.
30. (Optional) Please provide any feedback that you think Mr. Trump will find useful in his big debate with Hillary.
OK, seriously, we need to see your tax returns. This is your Trump card, if you will. Your strength is that you claim to be a successful business man and financial organizer, but we have no proof of this. The time is over for both candidates and their supporters to engage in yet more finger-pointing and empty rhetoric. The voters are ready for actual data, and the numbers in your tax returns don't lie. Show us the money.