Following a historic mudslide victory that promises to pave the way for future con men, pathological liars and alleged sexual predators to ascend to the most powerful office on Planet Earth, America today inaugurated the first fake president in the nation’s 250-year history — President @RealDonaldTrump.
With his tiny right hand on a Gideon Bible and his wee left hand behind his back with his fingers crossed, the incoming fake president pledged to uphold the Constitution — a “really terrific document” that he swears he has definitely read, or at least been briefed on the bullet points.
Now etched in history, the image of the reality TV billionaire reciting the same words once uttered by Abraham Lincoln and Richard Nixon — looking totally classy in a Chinese suit and Mexican tie from the Donald J. Trump Menswear Collection — truly validates the saying that a picture is worth 140 characters.
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