Of course, Obama was born in Kenya!
Of course, Trump won both the popular vote and the electoral college. Hell, he won EVERY vote in EVERY state! Clinton didn't receive so much as one hanging chad!
Of course, Hillary is guilty of all kinds of crimes and should be jailed!
Of course, there is absolutely no proof of climate change!
Of course, there are 3 to 5 million illegal aliens who voted and only voted for Democrats!
Of course! Of course! Of course!
For the last two months I have had this worrisome notion that we snowflake liberals just don't know how to LIE BIG. Trump spends little time on the small lies. He knows the small ones pay little in dividends and his audience has no nose for nuance. PT Barnum that he is, he prefers the great big, gaudy, ridiculously over-reaching lies. He understands that it is much more effective to invest in simple, humongous statements. They are like saving accounts: The more you invest by repeating them, the more they increase in credibility!
Keep them simple, but gigantic! They need to be something the GOP echo chamber can easily reverberate. They need to read like National Enquirer headlines, like "50 POUND WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO 500 POUND PUMA!" They need to fit on a hat or a t-shirt. Boil them down to a few words that will in turn boil the blood of your acolytes: EMAILS! LOCK HER UP! BUILD THE WALL! BENGHAZI! BIRTH CERTIFICATE!
We linguine-spined, chardonnay-sipping, corgi-owning, tree hugging, book reading, elite liberals have to face the reality that one half of our population are a bunch of very sad, very low information, very small and angry people who have never met a conspiracy theory they didn't like and get all of their news from corporate hate media. We early toilet-trained liberals just don't feel comfortable telling those great big, box office LIES! Perhaps we should try it for a change. I jest, but the only way to fight this massive ignorance might be to employ the hair of the dog that bit us.
Of course, Trump is a Russian spy!
Of course, Trump is a secret communist!
Of course, Trump was born in an Austrian lab!
Of course, Trump is the love child of Ayn Rand and Karl Marx!
Of course, Trump was the twin brother of Anastasia!
Of course, the REAL Trump is on ice, sharing freezer space with Walt Disney, Elvis Presley and Howard Hughes!
Of course, Trump pays no taxes and in fact gets weekly payoffs from the IRS!
ATTENTION DEMOCRATS: LIE BIGGER!!!!!