I like men. I like that most men are pretty straightforward, I love teaching young men, I am not a man-hater at all. I have two sons and a daughter, and I adore them all equally. But the more information that comes out about Weinstein, and what Trump got away with, and all of the men like Affleck who also assaulted women, and all of the men who turned a blind eye, I am getting more and more angry. This is sexual. This sometimes violent, always damaging, assault hasn’t been taken seriously in our society. And not only is assault, harassment, and disrespect sexually rampant in our society, I think that plain old disrespect and sexism are also alive and well. I have experienced it frequently, and I hear from every woman I work with about it, too.
I work in a high school with more women than men, maybe 2/3 women to men. For the last 15 years that I have been here, our entire district has had two female administrators, both Superintendents. The first one was removed for reasons still unknown, and the second one had an active campaign of both men AND women to get rid of her until she left. Why? I’m not sure. They were both competent, cooperative and fair. But they are women.
I have been told, by male administrators only, that I am disrespectful, don’t know my place, told I’m not as committed as men here cause I have an outside life, told by my principal to “watch my face” in meetings (and I told him if he wouldn’t say that to a man, he had better never say that to me again, and he hasn’t) and the other day was questioned by a new male colleague about an activity I had set up with one of my clubs. I did give him an explanation, which I shouldn’t have, then asked WHY he was in my business, and he told me he was “satisfied” with my answer. Mind you, I’m here 15 years. This is his 2nd year and he is NOT my boss.
I was telling another male colleague about this, and he laughed, and said, “Oh, I’m sure you were blunt with him.” I kind of went off, saying, “So men can act like a dick and that’s OK. But God forbid I call that man on acting like a dick, I’m Negative Adigal or Bitch Adigal. Right??” He kept laughing and I said, “I hope your daughter would feel that she has the right to call men out on their bullshit, and since I taught her, I know she would!” That sobered him up, but until I gave an example of a female who was in some way “his,” he didn’t get it.
Male colleagues were brought in on higher steps (salary steps) than a woman with the same experience. Males have done things that would have gotten women booted out of the building. Males are chosen for clubs over women when they both apply. Add into the toxic stew a fairly large group of conservative Christian people, and maybe this male dominance, female supine atmosphere makes more sense.
But really….what is the solution?? We aren’t high profile people, this isn’t sexual harassment, just plain, everyday, garden variety sexism. Who would listen? Who would support us when we call this out? No one wants to hear our stories. 2017, and it is just marginally better than when I grew up in the 1960s. We go to college, get Masters degrees, work professionally, but are still treated as dumber, less professional, less committed, less everything. I am not hopeful anything will change.