MOSCOW – A day after President Donald J. Trump’s former National Security Advisor turned stool pigeon, he got more bad news from his Russian overlords.
In a move that caught industry insiders and the Trump administration by surprise, Russia Inc. announced it would not renew a second year run for its hit American President reality television series Trumps Destroys America.
While the White House has disputed rumors for the past week, a spokesman for Russia Inc. CEO V. Putin said the network believed the declining value of Donald J. Trump presidency was becoming apparent.
“Since we forged a mutual satisfaction agreement in 2015, our puppet has given us almost three years of maximum chaos, incoherence & distraction and Trump continues to obliterate what you Americans call democracy at a rapid pace,” said the network statement. “But Trump exhausts everyone across the globe, including us, and while America’s international stature has been reduced to a punch line, the overall return on investment into this venture is expected to drop off a cliff.”
The White House immediately called the report Fake News and insisted backing from Russia has never been stronger.
“The President has made humiliating himself to serve Mr. Putin a top priority and the ratings do not dispute this fact,” said White House Spokesman Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “The show remains a big hit with the vital KKK/Nazi/White Supremacy demographic and no one can dispute this fact.”
Behind closed doors, the mood was sober. “Trump is furious. He can’t understand why Putin would abandon him in his hour of need. First, (former National Security Advisor) Mike Flynn turned rat and now this,” said a White House official who spoke on the condition of anonymity and fear for their mortal existence. “This shit show is going off the rails. Do you know anyone in the Special Counsel’s office? I need immunity.”
Kremlin insiders say the possibility Trump-inspired nuclear Armageddon outweighs the hope that Trump would finally deliver on the campaign promise he made to the Russian people to eradicate crippling economic sanctions implemented 2014 through 2016 by Trump’s predecessor Barack Obama.
“Our oligarchs have been cruelly treated by these criminal sanctions but the board is too complicated. Russia Inc. withdraws support to pursue other investment opportunities,” the statement said.
Michael McCord, the former political editor and columnist of the Portsmouth (N.H.) Herald, is an award-winning journalist and writer. He is the author of the political satires The Execution Channel: A Political Fable and the forthcoming End Times: Further Adventures in Real America. You can follow him on Twitter @mmgolfer