My eldest was home from college for Spring Break last week, and it was a wonderful ten days. It also kept me chatting in real time in my kitchen and for the most part away from Top Comments… but I’m back :-). Sunday morning, before we had to take her to the airport for her trip back, we went to church so she could see her friends deliver the annual Youth Service. It’s created and led entirely by the members of the senior high youth group. It is one of the best services each year, and this year’s was no exception. One piece really has stuck with me, so please grab a beverage and join us below the story break, after a word from our sponsor!
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The theme was unconditional love and one speaker spoke of his coming out as transgendered a little over a year ago. He said it was very difficult, with many people doubting his sincerity, believing ‘she’ was seeking attention, etc. He found acceptance from the members of this youth group, which last year included K1. Then he said the following (I am paraphrasing here, but the essence of the words is the same):
And then [K1] wrote on my facebook that she was happy for me, honored that youth group was among the first people to hear, and that she was proud of my bravery. It was so nice and so important to me. Thank you.
K1 had NO IDEA this was going to be shared, and was so happy that words she had said in complete honesty but let’s be truthful, were “just” a reply on a facebook post, had such a lasting impact.
How many times have you said something to, or done something for, a person and much later found out it had a lasting impact either for good or ill? I’ve known people self-conscious about their appearance or doubting their intelligence or skills because of a thoughtless, stupid comment years or decades earlier. I also knew a couple who, knowing no one else, came to YearlyKos one year because it was in their town. Mr. Brillig reached out to them when we ended up at the same table, and we were told years later that the warmth and welcome he shared is why they came back the following year. Words and actions matter.
Decades after my high school years, I heard a classmate tell her tale of growing up in poverty, with not enough food available. She was eligible for lunch at school but back then (at my school, at least) it was painfully, humiliatingly obvious to everyone who got free lunch. She said that another classmate of ours somehow miraculously always had extra food at lunch… fruit or two sandwiches or whatever, and every day offered it to the hungry student “because I’m not hungry enough to eat it and I don’t want to waste it?” And that it made all the difference not only because it kept her from being hungry, but also gave her hope that people are good inside.
In our society it is SO easy to throw words into the aether and forget them a moment later. Consider the impact your words have on those who hear them. Make sure children hear that they are good, valued and loved for who they are and that actions are bad, not kids. Build up the people around you and it will pay short AND long term dividends. Understand that the frustration you take out on a person one day may be forgotten by you, but will stick with them forever. Do you want to be THAT person in another’s life? I’d like to think that someday when I exit this place, the stories people tell will focus on the good things I said and did, that had an impact beyond that moment and NOT on words and deeds that hurt another.
How about you? Ever have something similar happen to you? Please share in the comments, after spending a few minutes perusing the bits you really come to Top Comments for, the trio of Top Comments, Mojo and Pictures that beninSC has so kindly collaborated with me to bring tonight!
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From Avilyn:
I'd like to nominate Bill in Portland Maine's comment response to a righteous rant about healthcare by grog for tonight's Top Comments. It's a touching comment regarding the personal impact of the ACA, and it deserves a wide audience, IMO.
Top Mojo ala mik!
2017-03-21, courtesy of jotter!